What the fuck.? I’m so frustrated. i’m so weak and ugly and stupid and…FUCK i can’t stand myself. I hate being trapped in my head. I have a shrink but she doesn’t get it. I haven’t told any of my friends about my… thoughts or whatever. they don’t know me at all. i hate being so fake. I literally have no reason to want to die. that just makes me want to die more though. i’m such a lazy whining prick. i want so bad to suck it up and get over myself but i cant. i cant do anything. i want to much. i just cant. FUCK.
Ive gotten so good at hiding my depression that sometimes it scares me. im like two different people. i don’t know what to do with myself. i want to die so much, but its such a selfish thing to do. it would hurt my parents so much. i am so lucky to have a family that cares but i just can’t handle it. i dont know whats wrong with me. Reading the other posts on this site makes me realize i’m not alone, except everyone else has actual problems that make them depressed. i mean, ive been through unexpected deaths in the family, several friends have been molested over the years, i had a sezure and a few medical scares this summer, but its just not enough.
i’m just so weak. i make myself sick. i want so badly to care about my life and my friends and myself, but how the fuck can i? theres so much shit in the world, its constantly falling apart. people killing people, rape, theft, murder, death, suicide. i want so badly to believe in a higher power or something, but i just can’t. I watched this movie yesterday that said it well : “God left this place a long time ago”
anyway… post some comments about your woes or something
im new to this site if you haven’t noticed, and this sounds really corny but i really appreciate everyone for posting their stories and stuff. Im glad i found this site
i really hope you have a good day.
14 comments
Absolutely with you on that track. I really can’t believe in a higher power or anything either. I think too much about it, it’s strange cause I’m not that smart but I over analyze things all the time. I usually enjoy taking walks by myself to cool off from everything for a bit or sometimes take a nap. I find this helps soothe the pain a bit.
yeah naps are good. they can just sort of shut my brain up. the constant analyzing and overthinking is exausting
wow.
you just summed up my life in that short paragraph,
thank you.
I finally don’t feel so alone.
fact;;I hate being me.
i understand exactly what you are talking about, and my life is scaringly similar to yours. i absolutely hate being me; i know for a fact that others do, too; and i want a reason to feel this way more than i want to not feel it anymore. thank you so much for finding the words i could not.
That was scary, because it was EXACTLY how I feel.
Sure the world is a fucked up piece of shit. You can’t walk down the street, turn on the tv, or even look around your own bedroom without seeing something that is depressing in some way.
I am not alone. My family is around all the time and my friends love me, much more than I deserve. I wish they didn’t care about me so much.
I don’t know if I even believe this myself but we are enough. We just have to be. If we can all help each other somehow, maybe we can just get by. Maybe that’s all we can do.
x
Your higher power is your pain,
You just haven’t given it a name,
When you realize the game,
The answer will become so plain,
You will laugh and dance in rain,
And love the life you have again.
FUcking hell i fucking agree, i just wanna fucking die already, yeah sure people love me, wish they didnt but yeah fuck it. i dont believe in god nor do i have “legit” reasons all i know, is i wanna die, thats fucking it.FUCK.
i love this site, ive never thought that there was ppl like me. but yea i still want to kill my self or something. i dnt fuking know what to do with my self
That’s funny. Well not about what you said but about… i feel the same way. everything! besides the unexpected death, etc. at least u had something to blame or whatever. i got nothing. i rather have a problem with a name instead of unknown. Everything feels unreal, and fake.
I know how yall feel but my pain is I’m totally frustrated everyday and don’t know why, i get up in the morning frustrated and go to bed frustrated. Everyday I want to smash something, hit something, or tear something up! I can’t do it because I have a bad case of OCD I take meds for and that frustrates me even more. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks
Hey guys, I’m 22 y/o n live in NZ n i been diagnosed wid depression, anxiety issues and bad case of OCD which iv had since bwt the age of 14.. n wel just wanna say i feel the same way at times, in fact who am i kidding i feel like shit all the time! lol nah not al tha tym but most of tha tym.. I dont reali hav much 2 blame it on either, had a prety normal lyf, very strict but caring parents, gud mates, but yea i know how all you guys feel ae.. I also have very bad anger issues, i’m quick tempered, however i’ve resorted 2 drugs since the age of 15, mainly cannabis and the odd methamphetine so probly explains the anger, but i been off tha drugs for over 6 mnths nw! =)
Im on home detention for 12 months for assault n armd robbry so not alowd 2 leave the house for a year, so as you can imagine it’s prety fukin stresful and borin, but i find punching the shit out of ma punching bag helps relieve anger and frustration, also just chilin listning 2 music n shit helps.. but yea lyfs a *****, sumtyms wish i kud just end it ae but i wouldnt do that, known 2 many ppl hu hav hung themselvs n it’s not da wae, it destroys families and it’s an easy wae out.. let me just tell u guys, dont feel like lyf wont get better because trust me it will n it can, it is hard but if u want lyf 2 b beta u can make it beta, i stil get depresd but wid the home D it hard not 2 but overall i’m getin thea so just memba LYF WIL GET BETA K!!!! =
Oh n DONT DO DRUGS!!! HAHAHA
Peace x
Yep. Same.
I hate this whole world and everything and everyone in it, including myself.
dude,
Really, I have lil problems. And I feel everyone has a depression, it jus so happens your not happy wit your life as too me i have so many people who love me as well but in reality i hurt them and i dont appreciate any of it, however to others some depressions might be big or small but to the person who is going to the depression it so happens to feel like the end of world so dont feel bad. Its okay to feel that way ive hit that depression to….
It is almost scary how well you describe it, if I didn’t know better I would think I had written that myself. Completely trapped and its a living nightmare.