ok…

I don’t know, I just need some advice I guess.

I lie too much and am trying to break that habit with all the will I have but can’t seem to… I know that is contributing to my depression but I don’t know how to stop.
My therapist isn’t really helping on that matter and the meds I’m on can’t stop me from lying.
Anyone have any advice how to stop?

I also know I wallow in my problems too much but always want to talk them out but then people just tell me to “scrub my past and be happy” but I don’t know how. I try to bottle it up but that makes me more and more depressed. I can’t seem to surface…

Then all my friends, 90% of my friends are in some way mentally unstable and I seem to attract mentally unstable people. My riding instructor says its because I give them something they don’t have but she also says I have to be careful of them sucking me dry which seems to be happening. She gave me alot of insight. Many people always pressure me into trying to “drift away” from my “messed up friends” and find some that can help me. But they don’t really understand so I get very stressed eaisly…

I’m also over-emotional and I know it but I don’t want to be… I don’t really want to die atm but have many times in the past and always think about different ways I could die. Never going further then staring at a situation where I could eaisly die. I’ve tried only twice before, but have been unsuccessful.

I don’t know why I’m posting this, I guess I just want some advice. Who knows…