i don’t have much to say, but the worst part of why i want to kill myself is that nothing bad has ever happened to me. nothing really bad. i have parents who love me. i’m engaged to be married. until recently i had a good job, but a job loss isn’t the cause of this, i’ve wanted to die since i was fifteen. whenever anything goes wrong in any capacity i think about it. i can’t stop it and i don’t want to think about it but i do. it’s selfish i guess, for attention maybe, but all the people that hurt me, i just want to see their faces when they get the news. that’s the catch 22 i guess, if i did it, i couldn’t see how they felt. maybe i wouldn’t want to see.
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Hey look, ur just suffering from some sort of depression… YOU just need someone to show you the BRIGHTER side of life. I had many more problems than you, I’ve even attempted suicide, but what matters right now is that I’m living, and making the most out of it. I’m learnin something new everyday, and I’m grateful for that. I’ve realized happiness is within you, not outside. A dozen people could hurt you, but YOU could still be happy if you wanted to. My secret? It may sound whacky but I meditate on earth air fire and water. It brings me fulfillment, and I control my life. Life is all about YOU: DONT LET ANY ONE ELSE RUIN IT FOR YOU. You dont have to meditate, but remember your happiness if your own, to keep or not to.
Suggestion: take a trip, even if it’s only a park, observe nature and the little insects and animals… if they can be happy, why cant you?
don’t worry. you’re engaged. you have something that most people never have and wish for all the time. don’t let your partner down.
Sincerely,
Peaches