left alone again. why am i not use to this yet?! i mean, i should be by now. i dodn’t even know this person too well. what was so wrong with it? why did he thing it was so worng? to actually talk to someone. i have a bofriend. he has a girlfriend. i can sorta understand, and i respect his choice of not wanting to talk to me anymore. it just dosn’t make sence to me though. every single time i get to actually talk to somebody and feel comfortable about it. my life changes. it makes me happy to be able to do that. just to talk to a decent guy that can get what your trying to say without really saying it all. maybe THAT IS the problem though. maybe thats why he feels like it is “wrong”. he should be able to tell these things to his girlfriend. i mean, i’m sure he trust her; like i trust my boyfriend, i should be able to tell my boyfriend everything. yet… we don’t… we can tell strangers these things but we can’t tell the people we proly should tell. none of this makes sence! i’m, personally, tired of it. we tell people these things and they always leave. so what?! so
what?! what if we tell people things just to get other things off our mind and they understand. thats IS our prob. we don’t tell the people around us these things because we don’t want them to leave. dose it make sence?! all the people we tell something important to end up leaving…. gone…. so what happenes now?

a serge to connect rushes through me
a time bomb with no clock showing
chains holding me down
my lips locked together
my heart trying to jump away from me too
my hand just out of reach for a loaded gun
out of reach like everything else in life
leave me with the waste
it’s the wrong time to be so cruel
i’ll just die here slowly
it’s ok though because i can’t eat anything
too weak to struggling anymore
let me die here slowely like i always thought i would
leave me with more of nothing
please
please
please