feeling suicidal

  October 15th, 2009 by hume

I believe the only logical conclusion we can come to about the nature of human existence and importance is that human lives are completely unimportant.
There is no absolute right and wrong.
Suicide is ultimately no different than dying of natural causes.

The purpose of suicide would be to end life. This would be beneficial if experiencing nothing at all would be better than continued tedium and misery in drawing breath. The one problem I find with suicide is that other people have been the cause of my misery in life and they would live out their lives after I chose to end my life.
The only real solution to this problem would be murder or murder/suicide because, frankly, I don’t think the kinds of people who cause me misery should go on living if I have to die.

Of course, the first thing I pondered was, “Are you sure it is them and not you who is the problem?”
After careful consideration of this, I have concluded that it is, in fact, they that are the problem. (They being the people in my life that make me miserable.)

As a person I would require very few things to be happy and lead a happy existence. Most people would agree with this statement.

Philosophically speaking, none of us have the right to ‘expect’ anything out of life. We all were randomly born into our positions and minds. It is only chance that we were all not abortions, children who died of cancer, or born with AIDS. (Or the host of other causes of death that could have taken us before this day by happenstance.)

It is interesting that so many people struggle to live with such passion. Digging through hypodermic needled trash for half eaten hamburgers. Sucking the water out of cow dung.
People do these things just to survive.
And we are here, probably well fed and clothed, certainly with internet access on some level purchased by ourselves or provided by a library which society has given us, pondering ending our own lives. Is it some sin to have so much and throw it away? Of course not. A simple recognition of how disposable life is leads us to understand how unimportant any individual is. Each one of us could murder a thousand people and it would make no real difference.
It might be a public tragedy that would be spoken of for years but it would be ultimately forgotten. Buried under the sands of time and most certainly consumed by the evergrowing sun in a few hundred million years.

Basically everything on this planet, all of its happenings, and all of its life; all of it is going to be destroyed anyway. It doesn’t matter how or when.

The only thing that actually matters is how the person looking at you in the mirror perceives the world and experiences life. When other people are trying to ruin your ride, when they are making you feel low and bad, they need to be stopped. Your conclusion may be healthier than murdering them. Most people have the option of simply removing themselves from the reach of malignant people in their lives. Cut ties, change phone numbers, change address, change jobs. This is a healthy way of disposing of the kinds of people who seek nothing but to mentally torment us and should be viewed as a priority option.
When there is no escape and each day is lived under the coercion, manipulation, and anguish bestowed by other people who will not cease but for their own enjoyment, then it is your right to kill them, yourself, or both.

This right is not given by law or government, not by public opinion or religious dogma. It’s a biological imperative handed down through genetics. It’s a combination of our wild nature and evolved minds intertwining in a beautifully violent conclusion. Each one of us is a God in his own right. We decide exactly what actions we will and will not take and always hold the fate of our fellow man in one anothers’ hands.
Each one of us capable of bringing chaos, disharmony, and death to a peaceful setting. The ability to up-heave all of the symbolism and lies we pretend are true in society and civilization.
Society is nothing but a lie we all have agreed to pretend is true for the sake of comfort and ease. When society stops working for enough people then this lie is revealed as such and all of the niceties are stripped away from everyone. This is why government’s job is to serve people. This is why government is failing. There is a teetering balance that is played with right up to the breaking point. How much misery can we bestow on an individual, how much of their money can we steal, how bad can we make it for them before they snap? What is the exact about of misery the average citizen will tolerate in exchange for shelter and food?
This is the game. This is how it is being played.
So envy the freedom of the aids victims in africa who have no electricity and mortgages. Who have no cars to fill with gas, who have no wages that can be garnished.

Envy the people wearing rags that cut into the throat of a living cow and drink it’s blood for moisture. You might have looked at them as having less than you but they actually have far more.

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