Hmm, i kinda wrote this when i was pretty upset – Though i’d post it ;/
I sometimes tell myself that it will get better the next day, or maybe even in a week but it never happens.
Â Ashleigh, my best friend, she is proberly the reason why this hasn’t happened sooner. She is the one that has never left my side, she’s the one who has accepted all my stupid decisions and mistakes. I can’t bear to leave her in all that pain when i’m gone, but hopefully in time she will understand why i have done what i did.
If there is such a thing as God, he’s had alot of fun destroying my life. I don’t believe in God at all now.
I have cuts deep on my wrists, arms and thighs, every now and then I get an urge to just take out a blade and cut my arms to bits or just stab myself in the gut.
I’m sick of feeling like a burden to everyone.
Kayleigh, her goal in life seems to be making my life miserable. She laughs at me all the time, spreads rumours and picks at my every insecurity, she used to be my bestfriend for about 4 years.. now she is the one telling me i need to go on a diet and how much of a shit person i am. She’s the reason i trust NO ONE. She’s made me question every single person in my life and come to the conclusion that no one is who they make out to be. Her goal was to make my life hell, well congratulations Kayleigh, you’ve done it. Feel proud? Maybe now you might start to care and i hope you feel the pain that i went through everyday.
I just canâ€™t take it anymore. This is not a decision that I have made lightly, i’ve thought about it for the last three years everyday.