the dripping tap causing excruciating pain in my head.

  February 17th, 2010 by jfinris

Post traumatic stress disorder that cannot end because you have to relive the events over and over kills you. Not literally but your emotions, feelings and the will to get out of bed. Lying under the duvet, sleep is evasive, not like crowding thoughts, Every avenue you explore is interupted by memories and physical fear. Its not about causing pain for the people who love/need you its this desperate need to escape from your mind. the relief from sleep, constant, is such an indulgent and yet obvious way out. Will I, I dont know, I buy time taking the sweeties prescribed by my gp. They slow me down. I have given it a deadline and am busy putting my affairs into order, god knows why, and meantime I face each day like one step on mount everest. Who am I? I have no idea but I dont want reponsibility, having once been a high flyer who provided for my family, my brain now functions in a mindset that I dont recognise.

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