hey guys, from what i’ve read on here, a lot of you have legit reasons for being depressed and suicidal. and to be honest, i feel like a complete douchebag because my reason is the suckiest of all: i’m so stressed out. i’m 15, a sophomore, i have two AP, two honors, and an upper level Spanish class. everyday after school, i have flag football practice for two hours. during the week, all the work piles up and piles up on me and it’s suffocating. not to mention my parents are constantly bitching at me for “having an attitude” when i’m just tired. they don’t seem to realize how exhausted i am.
it’s been months since i first thought about suicide. i can’t even remember what it feels like to not think about it. it consumes my thoughts each and every day, and it never goes away. i talk to two of my friends, and my parents know i talk to them about suicide, yet none of them do anything at all. one day i was talking to them, and i said, “there’s only one person who knows my deepest and darkest secret, only she knows how i feel.” and my mother said flat out, “suicide. or cutting. you act like i’ve never thought about it before.” i was dumbfounded that i could be so predictable. after that, not another word was spoken on the matter.
i’ve looked up the symptoms of a depressed teenager, and aside from giving away possessions, i am afflicted with each one. yet everyone still continues to turn their head and look the other way. what am i to do?
3 comments
What you do is realize that you are 15 and that stress is part of life. Parents can be a pain in the ass, (I know, I am one). But the stresses of what you are going through are not insurmountable. Cut soming out of the routine. Free up some time for yourself.. Try and find what is causing your distress and deal with it slowly. If you try and deal with the stresses and still can’t then what have you lost?
As for the teenager ‘attude’, they will have to get use to it. We all had/have it and parents are always bitching about it. Don’t let that one point govern you outlook on yourself.
Well, I have to say I know how you feel. I’m 13, 8th grade, and all AP classes. It just consumes you, and stuff just goes downhill from there. When you read all these stories, you totally feel like a jerk beacuse all these people have been through so much more than you, yet you still want to die.
At the very least, you talk to people. That should help. But if you’re talking to the wrong people who really don’t care, then you’re just going to feel worse. If you want an idea for what might help (it’s helped me when I’ve been at my worst), then http://www.suicideforum.com could be good. I go on alot, and if you do end up going on there, then you should add me as a friend (my username’s not_an_angel) and we can talk.
Hope this helps,
Sarah
I understand how you feel. It’s easy to feel stressed out in school, and yet it does feel bad to go to sites like this and see that other people have it so much worse than you do. It almost makes us think, as young people, we don’t have the right to feel the way we do.
But that doesn’t make our problems any less real. In fact, if anything, it makes them harder to talk about. Its the sad truth; people do not know you need help unless you tell them. Believe me, I know this; its been my life story for the last few years. Sometimes I think people don’t recognize the symptoms of depression, or if they do, they don’t know what to do about it. Therefore, its probably easier to ignore it and act as though everything’s fine. I’m not an expert, but I think the best thing is to talk with someone sympathetic.
It’s really stressful when everyone’s putting pressure on you to succeed, and sometimes the best thing is to drop some responsibilities for your own sanity.
I wish you the best of luck, and I hope it helps.