jus feel like nothing matters anymore

Take a breather. You have much of your life left. There are way more things to be disappointed and let down over. It’s almost a gift. I am not trying to minimize you sadness, but realize that life is struggle for just about everyone (except Elton John, that weird fucker). Losing people is what it is all about, whether it is from death or separation of some sort. It just makes you value people more, and in that valuing of people more, people will be loved and love you for it. So realize that this isn’t the first, although it stings the most, there is more to come, but you can transfer your worth and value to others. I posted a quote earlier this week on the forum, you may have read it, and it has nothing to do with suicide, it has to do with living an inspired life, despite the challenges. Here it is:

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you’ll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”

The man who wrote that was Charles Bukowski. He lived life. He was a famous writer but he didn’t care. He lived in squalor and loved it because he was free. He was able to take tragedy and disappointment and turn it into happiness because he didn’t care. He found happiness in the simple things in life (mostly drinking).

So before you off yourself, read some Bukowski, or watch this film about him

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092618/

and live a little before you decide to end it all. There is divinity in every mess we make or find ourselves in.