I don’t want to live nomore. No matter what I do thinks always seem to go wrong. I can’t function right. I think of ways to kill myself every single minute. Think how much better life would be with out me in it. My family hates me , no friends at all, and a guy who refuses to love me. I do have 3 beautiful kids which must be the only good thing I have. I try to focus on them and keep them ahead this the only reason why I am breathing today. I try seeking help but no matter what it turns out to be the same at the end. I already made myself believe I will never have a happyly ever after ending, nvr be married. I have done so much for this guy to show him how much I care for him and still nothing. I know what happened to us was my fault in the first place but I have been tryn so hard to help things get better, but now I’m tired. Tired of living, tired of rejection tired of wanting more in life and having it fall in pieces. I hate me and I can’t stand being me much longer. I have to find all the energy I have to end this miserable life. I just have to.
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4 comments
You do matter! Just keep on trying! Get counciling from a proffecional! And whatever you do DO NOT KILL YOURSELF! Think of your children, think how it will affect them if you kill yourself, they’ll think it was because of them, that they did something wrong. Don’t do it.
Hi, now I know that it’s not right that your family hates you. I feel mine hates me and it is really very clear that they do. They think they are better than me. They aren’t but that is what they imagine in their heads. It is wrong what they do to make life more cold. Still, I have lived a long life with the family scapegoating and thank god for a place to post my thoughts because writing about them sure does help me get them out of my head. I wouldn’t give my family the satisfaction of my failing . . . I am working hard at turning the big wheel around. I got into school, will graduate this Spring . . . I still have many things to work on to bolster Self Confidence. I think I esteem myself today though. God Bless You.
I do think about them that’s probably why I haavent yet but I just feel like this isn’t enough, I give them so much grieve and I feel like I’m not doing a good job raising them, I just don’t know what to do. I have gotten professional help but it ended up putting me lower, weird how that worked out. I just can’t keep hoping for things n have it not happen or have it happen and get ruin by shelfish ppl. I eminated the poison in my life but its dealing with the wound and tryn to close it is my problem
That is so great that u are doing something about ur life and I know how u feel as it is hard to not care if ur family hates u. But u chose to better urself and I hope I can find that in me as well. Good luck to u