Get to know me

I am a 19 year old who has been in and out of psych hospitals and regular hospitals since i was 15. I started self-harming in 8th grade because my mother was up set at how i expressed emotions so i stopped expressing them altogether. I tried suicide when i was 15 because we had a foreign exchange student who kept telling horrible lies and my parents and friends believed her over me and i was left out in the cold. My sister found me dazed on the bethroom floor and called my mom. After two tubes of charcoal later i was put in a hospital room with constant supervision. What made the whole visit horriblr was my case worker who practically yelled at me for trying to commit suicide. Well 4 years later and i have yet to have a successful suicide. Someone always seem to catch me in the act or they just don’t work altogether. My therapist tells me i have someone looking down on me but all i think it is, is that i am just not doing it right. My mother is practically non exsistinent and i always feel as if i am way too much of a burden to my father, after all he did get stuck with me when my mom threw me out. Everyone reassures me that my family loves me no matter what but if you knew some of the things i did you would think differently.