I guess I just wanna get everything off my chest. And not become completly shunned by all my friends…
I’m gonna start out with the cliche of a highschool teen: My boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and has a new girlfriend, it’s made me sad and more than a little jealous.
Next, my parents think I’m “all better” since I don’t show how I feel and myÂ pills areÂ still being taken.Â But I know if I talk to them about this there just gonna freak completly out and dump me in a mental institute. (which I’m deathly afraid of)
Of course, there are my friends. I tend to draw in depressed/suicidal people like flies. I love to help. No, I NEED to help. So they come to me, I don’t mind but sometimes all there depression crushes in on me and I feel like suffocating…
Since I always need to help I have problems saying no to people which led me to losing my virginity to a guy in a back of car. Whats worse is he knew i was super depressed at the time and took advantage of that. I had sex with him one other time after that. It’s really messed with my head.
Oh, I also am a liar. Major one. I lie to have a reason to be depressed because I really don’t have much of a reason to be. So I make stuff up. It’s backfired on me multiple times already.
Finally, I’ve found a guy…who cares and all. He’s already started to heal the wounds my last boyfriend left me. But i’ve already told him a lie. I’m scared he’ll leave me alone, so I’m trying to push him away.
I don’t know what to do anymore.