Still here, losing patience with myself…

If you can…wait one month. Just wait until you get on the Xanax. Give it a try. Suicide is always there as an option, but it is a final solution…give life a try just long enough to see if it works. About the oil soaked birds…many of them are rescued and are living well. I am a wild life rehabber. It is most wonderful thing to help one of these animals..I have a seagull named Jonathan, a deer named Jack (he is a buck, and does tricks, gives the best kisses too) twenty raccoons that I feed every nite, twenty or more feral cats, seven dogs, two flying squirrels, on tree squirrel, koi fish and two guinea pigs someone was gonna let go in the woods..they eat like pigs, too. They are saving many of the animals there in the Gulf. It is a tragedy, but there will be miracles of love as well. Maybe mankind will change from this. Give the meds a chance..what have you got to lose by waiting? If you think no one cares, think again. I am here talking with you, I care enough to start this conversation…just wait a little while and breathe deep breaths..big slow ones. When I was a young girl, my mom would make me stay in my room until I could come out with ten things I was Grateful for…I sometimes stayed for days…but I always found things to write down. Like the soft green of a new leaf on a tree, the way a tiny kitten feels on my cheek. The soft tongue and barking of my puppy. The feel of the grass between my toes, the color of the flowers and the smell of a rose, so sweet! The kamikaze antics of hummingbirds. There are endless things, if you look with your heart. It is your head that screws you up and tells you to kill yourself. Hold it with your hands and say “STOP!” then go outside and smell the air and listen with your heart to the night stars! You are being watched over and much loved! You are much needed in this world to help us bring mankind to a new understanding of how important life is…..breathe, just breathe…and give it a little time now.