It’s been over 3 years. I thought everything was behind me. I just thought I was finally able to be with myself and learn how to be happy.
3 years and for the most part I never looked back. I still have scars from once upon a time, but I don’t hide anymore. I was finally happy with who I was. No need to be ashamed.
Don’t ask me what happened today… I still can’t tell exactly. I’ve haven’t felt like this for so long. It felt like a lifetime ago. I’ve been crying all day. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know exactly. Nothing feels right anymore. And what scares me the most, is that after 3 years, I still know why my blades are. I haven’t thought of it in so long. I was finally happy. No more blood, no more letters in my own blood… I even threw part of them away, thinking I’d never go back.
But now I can’t think of another solution. Self-pity cocktails later, a few pills later… We’re back to three years ago. You can’t run away that easily.
1 comment
No you can’t mate. It always returns. Because you know that life is shit, you can only fool yourself for so long. You need to keep distracted to live well, that’s they key. As soon as whatever is distracting you vanishes, you either find a new distraction or you perish. It’s all about choices. Right now I’m perishing, but searching for a new distraction. Death seems very attractive right now