It’s been over 3 years. I thought everything was behind me. I just thought I was finally able to be with myself and learn how to be happy.
3 years and for the most part I never looked back. I still have scars from once upon a time, but I don’t hide anymore. I was finally happy with who I was. No need to be ashamed.
Don’t ask me what happened today… I still can’t tell exactly. I’ve haven’t felt like this for so long. It felt like a lifetime ago. I’ve been crying all day. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know exactly. Nothing feels right anymore. And what scares me the most, is that after 3 years, I still know why my blades are. I haven’t thought of it in so long. I was finally happy. No more blood, no more letters in my own blood… I even threw part of them away, thinking I’d never go back.
But now I can’t think of another solution. Self-pity cocktails later, a few pills later… We’re back to three years ago. You can’t run away that easily.