Life is so boring. It looks like it takes forever doing nothing, so here I am sitting bored as f***. I stumbled upon this site wondering if I could talk to the dead, what would be the quickest and least painful way to die. I am watching a shiny and sharp knife in the kitchen and I wonder how long will it take, how much force, and most important will it hurt a lot before I die? I grab my earphones and see if rhey can choke and put it around my neck wondeting if it’ll be quick. I look at all the ways to die. I also wonder how many people will actually give a sh*t about me or if they will put their status on facebook R.I.P. Nathan, and how long they will mouen before going back to their fun lives. I am a shy 15 year old whos never had a gf and my dad makes me go to a church that I despise it makes us not do anything fun like birthdays pr any holiday celebrations. My parents are divorced and my friends are assholes to me. I f*ckin’ hate them and one of them slammed my forehead into a locker and made me get a scar and they still think I am cool with them. I feel mixed emotions every day and mostly I sit with my hat and hoodie on and listen to music. I am a pessimist and agnostic and last night I started looking at suicide notes and started hyperventilating and had a panic attack. Anyone ever had one?
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once I had.
when I had almost your age.
I used to think about other things too. neither I didn’t have any bf, and still I don’t :). I also had mixed emotions. till now sometimes I become like that again. but it doesn’t take so long to feel good again, I mean I fix myself.
BUT I am fine now. it is because of your age. but you should work on yourself and fix everything. now I just live my life in the way I like. no matter what my friends or other people say or treat. every one lives alone in this world. yes we may all have some friends , relatives but at the end it’s me who should do something for my life. so I do it alone. alone physically cause God is always with me. don’t let anyone to destroy your life. what your friends do and how they treat you is not important. so many important things are waiting for you in future. your true love, your kids, an empty place in a job who needs you. so don’t let stupid things to stop you to reach them.
and at the end, I will never understand why having a gf or bf is so important.
if you just want to be with someone then it’s wasting of time and emotions.
and if you want your true love then I should say that everyone wants that and it needs time. God has created for everyone his or her true love. you will find the one whom God has created specially for you, in the right time. and she is only for you. this way is better that now u don’t have any gf. because I think for finding your true love you should have pure heart and eyes. so that you can recognize her from other girls. wait
Bs right there i am agnostic and also i found her but she rejected me and she is the one i want perfect and pure and some asshole who wants her for sex is going to ruin her innocence
She said no to me and now i am scarred for life physically by bullies and emotionally by her now and for some readon talking never helps me it only is the ice for my cut FML
I can really relate to everything you wrote in your story. I am contstantly thinking of suicide and death. I don’t even have any friends, I thought I did but they just mess with my emotions too much, they are NEVER there for me, and a lot of the time are plainly cold and heartless to me, other times they ignore me. I have been abused by one of my ex friends, she kicked me so hard on my leg that it broke and I was in hospital then she spread gossip round school to everyone else. Immediately that broke my confidence. I am so tempted to kill myself as I write this. I am trying to stay alive but it’s so difficult. The only thing that keeps me alive is music or the thought of others that share my pain and views on life. People like you. I am a pessimist and agnostic and have panic attacks alot. So I know how you feel, it must of been scary for you, Was it your first one? If you would like to chat sometime, feel free, because I ain’t going to bullshit you with bunch of positives or make you turn an optimist because I am strongly attached to being a pessimist. E-mail me or add me on msn if you have it. vazzie_ere_chillin@hotmail.co.uk
Here everyone just wants to find some one like himself. no one wants to get released of what is hurting them. finding people like you will help you just for a short time.
you want this??? OK be happy that you found one. what is next?
what I say sure is not important for you and I think you don’t care. but how much longer do you wanna talk with people like you about the things which you have lost?? it may makes you calm but just for a short time. if you have to forget then forget. it’s the only way that human can live.
but at the end it’s you who should make decision for your life. I just wish you make a right decision.
sorry if I talked a little bad. but I just want you to feel good. I want you to know life is life , sometimes we don’t like some parts of it but it doesn’t matter because life won’t change it’s way just because of you. so you also just live. I know sometimes we get hurt sometimes we loose somethings that make us think living is no longer possible.
Napoleon has said : being in difficulty more than dying, needs courage.
Yeah i know just dont like the fact that ever day for the past 2 years sucked and i made little progress in my life my summer i spent playing video games and right now i was playin them because i dont like people i know and everything in my life isnt interesting anymore but yeah i know i need to find step 2 instead of step 1 where i find people like me but i have depression and apparently its a symtom that u lose interest in things u liked
I used to like basketball and now i dont video games are boring and now i hve nothing to do but sit and think of something interesting
I need a purpose in life without one i am nothing i cant rewind my life undo the things ive done and the things i should have i am a loner, a pessimist, sometimes i wonder if i might just crack and murder someone and end up in a mental institute or prison/juvy
Is it possible for me to become a PMC so i can die in battle or if i survive make money i always wanted a gold brick or a shiny emerald but anyways i have no purpose so i feel no need to live