for a long time now, ive found that everyday of my life is just something else to ‘get through’ i make little goals for my self and slowly but surely i get through my days, weeks, months. i think, “today, i have this and this and this, then i can sleep, and i have to wake up and do this and this and this… then it wil only be 3 days till the weekend, where i can hide away in my room, and be shit at life.”
i have mile stones, like holidays, or a long weekend, that i have even bigger count downs to… but really, the fact that everything about my life is like one big to-do-list is not a good sign. its not worth it. life like this isnt living, its just being. its not worth it. my life means nothing, nothing is achievedd by me living, nothing would be worse off if i werent here, nothing would even change, the world would not blink.
just to emphasise how pathetic i am, i have made it through 17 years of life without a boyfriend, at all, ever. can i just point out that even the ugliest of ugly get boyfriends, and im not amazing, but im not ugly… so what do i learn from a fact like this….. that i have a shit personality, that im a *****, and not someone whose company is enjoyed.
just one question, why would somebody as useless as me be put on earth?
4 comments
well yea if your a ***** then nobody is going to want to go out with you.. it’s your choice on if you want to change that or not.. if you really want a boyfriend, put yourself out there more and have a positive attitude, maybe try hanging around malls or movie theatres with some girlfriends try to pick up guys! it’s really not that hard, probablly wouldnt say no if your decent looking and have a good attitude.
Just my advice being a guy, goodluck on whatever you choose to do.
Boyfriends are perhaps, at times, overrated. I had one very serious relationship that lasted for over two years, and in the end it was quite apparent that I was just being used by another severely depressed person as their crutch, and dropped as soon as I was no longer necessary. I feel a lot more pathetic and worthless after the fact than I was before as a little suicidal early teen. Whether or not you’re pathetic doesn’t really depend on whether or not you’ve had a boyfriend, sometimes it just doesn’t happen… circumstances, etc. It also is only going to happen if you reach out to specific people and express feelings for them. It doesn’t just happen to people, not most of the time anyway.
You said “…not someone who’s company is enjoyed”, do you have friends? Obviously you’ve stated you haven’t had a boyfriend, but are there people in your life who are platonically interested in you?
im not retarded, i have friends… i go to parties, i get with guys, i just mean ive never actually been IN a relationship… the boyfriend situation really wasnt meant to be the main focus of my post, it was just a random fun fact. shite.
Guys won’t recognize the real women, the true “catches” until their mid twenties. Can you hold out for a while?