It’s terrable, and I know that… really I do, but I just don’t care any more I don’t want to be here. I hate this damn school. I’m 18 and I don’t even know myself anymore. I’m sleeping with a guy I can’t stand, lying to my best friend about it, while stringing two other guys along (one of which is my TA) all while the man I’m actually in love with is on the other side of the country with a new happy life… and I still don’t have to guts to tell him that I lost his child, the whole reason we broke up in the first place.
God I’m such a fucking wreck… I’m so goddamn scared of winding up like my brother and sister and having this depression force me to give up on my dream career but I’m loosing my mind here. I can’t get through the school week without being on painkillers and my weekends are a drunken haze… My sister keeps telling me to talk to my parents, that they could get me help, but I’ve been trying to get help for years, I don’t even want it anymore.
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read my post just above, i’m working on a good way to go currently and we might get there faster with your help and the help of others.
I’m 61 and have fought depression and anxiety attacks for 40 years, not to rain on your parade, but I’ll tell you what desperate is. 40 years of drugs and alcohol, now on 8mg of zanax a day that’s doing nothing and withdrawing fron 60 mgs a day of oxycodone for a screwed up back. They just cut my dose to 40 mgs a day and I had fire hose runs all day, vomiting and muscle cramps from hell. I can’t let my p-doc know I’m on a central nervos depressant (oxycodone) or he’ll cut me off the zanax which would be anothe withdrawl from hell let alone increasing my already out of control depression and anxiety. I actually looked at my chain saw today and wondered how I’d fine the correct vein(s) in my neck. NOW THAT’S DESPERATE !
Do what makes you you.
what? that dosen’t even make sense
Your life starts when you decide its time. We can’t dwell on the past expecting to get to the future. We can’t go to bed thinking of yesterday and expect to wake up and be happy.
You must decide for yourself when you want to get up and start walking forward, not anyone else.
You are so loved, even though you might not always see or believe it. There is a purpose for your life. Please don’t throw that purpose away.
There are people that can help you. Maybe ‘help’ isn’t the right word. There are people that are in the same boat or have been before.
Just remember, “if we’re alone, we’re all together in that too.”