i’ve had suicidal thoughts since i was in middle school. i thought they’d get better over time but they’ve only gotten worse… i’ve tried killing myself more than once but i backed out at the last minute because i got scared. i think about it all the time though… the thought of dying makes me feel calm. i had it all planned out too… i’d ask my friend to let me borrow his gun and then i’d go to the mountains. just me and that gun. i have a boyfriend and friends and i love them all so much, probably more than they realize. but i just want everything to go away.
im a terrible person.