Hi all,
I do have to say it is really helpful to see the other entries on this site, thanks everyone. I guess we need to remember that many people are struggling with their lives and have their own challenges.
I have a variety of problems which contribute to my feelings of anxiety and depression.
My big problem at the moment is my job. Its causing me a great amount of anxiety. I have been working as a litigation lawyer for 3 years since graduating and I am finding it really high pressure. I work 60 hours a week, and my workload just keeps growing, and I am constantly feeling on edge and stressed at work while I deal with other peoples stress and urgent dramas, and often feel anxious that I have made errors and f*cked stuff up. I feel like I am not coping with it. I think my bosses at work can tell that I am quite stressed, which is not good because that makes them dislike me because it is just expected that it is a high stress job and that you will cope with it. I sometimes worry that I am too dumb to be a lawyer, as it takes me a long time to do things.
This might seem a trivial mundane problem compared to the other difficulties some of you have experienced, but against the background of my other problems, being gay, single and with my family being deceased, I feel like I have limited resources or support networks to rely upon to cope with these demands.
I feel like leaving, but am worried what else I could do if I left. I have invested significant time into this career. I am still on a low salary which is unrewarding. I spend so much time working or worrying about work that I am starting to forget who I am other than just a lawyer. I have not had time to take any pleasures in life lately. All of my hobbies have been shelved as I dont feel like I have the time or energy for them, and I am starting to feel very lonely as I dont have time to see friends much, and I feel like I dont have the time to cultivate a relationship with a partner because of all the time I spend on work. Its really depressing me.
I have been feeling depressed, anxious and even suicidal sometimes. I feel like I am going to loose the plot with it, just as a quick way to get away from all my anxieties.
Anyways I feel better now that I have had my little rant. Chin up to you other folks, a lot of people have struggles with their life too, and often you would often not have any idea when you meet them.
4 comments
Teddy,
I think if I were you, I’d swing my arms like monkey, while the time on my way I need to fetch something, or dance a few steps, or joke a few words, or humor a bit while passing by a colleague.
It’s not to show others or to entertain, but for yourself, your own good.
It’s a way of performing something different to counteract the mundane surroundings.
Sometimes it’s seemingly acting crazy to not being crazy !
As the soul needs to have a little fun too !
Can’t you take some time off from work? It will make a hell of a difference.
Also.. Maybe think about changing careers as if you can’t take the stress of the job then maybe its not right for you?
We all go through lows in our lives at certain points. Such as feeling useless, like you have no social life, or no money. But just remember that YOU have to make things pick up again.
So you’re picking death over your job? Pick a different job instead..
-Sarah
Fireflieslite you are so right! That is great advice!
Yes that is so what I need to do, make work more fun, since I have to spend so much time there. I am baking peanut butter cookies with choc chips, and a pumpkin pie to take into work to create a festive atmosphere! Also going to take some beers in on Friday and start handing them out when everyone is still there working at 7pm.
Oh yeah, I love sweet stuff.
Teddy, those crispy cookies with choc chips and pumpkin pie so soft to the feel already tempted me drooling.
Jush wish I’d be there if just to steal a piece or two could be enough to bounce me to the air.
Yeah, I’m biting my lips now.