ive been labled as the worst offspring in my family. the adults think i wont get anywhere in life and my cousins just call me stupid. They laugh at my dreams and havn’t bothered to save money for college cuz they think im not good enough anyways. mayb theyre right. mayb im not good enough to get to college. there goes my dream. if i dont hve a dream or family, then perhaps friends? not a chance. to all of them, even one who i called my best friend, im just another person. things were no different from when i was a kid, so why should it change now? cuz i tried harder? doesnt count for shit. so i dont live for my family, i dont live for my friends, and i dont even live for myself. so then whats left? why m i still here? if i have nothing to live for, then i i kill myself i have nothing to lose. but y cant i kill myself? everytime i hold the knife to my chest, i just cant do it.