Hi everyone, I just found this site and I’m glad to now know that those stories about sites on suicide and nothing else exist. So thanks, lol.
On a less happy note, I’ll tell my story here.
So, about 2 months ago now, I met this really nice girl at school who I did make a move on and it worked, I found out that we share many things like our taste in music and in video games etc. It was really nice, I was madly in love with her by the first month and we got pretty far. We dated a bit but never ended up kissing, which I was about to do at the time.
This all lasted until halfway through the second month, where she suddenly decided that she wasn’t interested anymore and to top it all off she also decided to get in a relationship with my best guy friend, who for some reason I don’t know, betrayed me and went with it. So they’re both in a relationship now and I’ve lost both my best friends. I have one person who cares now who’s a girl I dated a while back but got nowhere with, and she has a boyfriend anyway so she tries to understand the pain I tell her about but doesn’t truly get it, I can tell. I love her to death but I’ve just given up on her trying to help me.
So, I’m overcome with pain and every time I walk past her locker or his locker, every feeling that I forgot by occupying myself with other things comes rushing back all at once and I have mental breakdowns in class… And I cry more than I can understand.. It’s so confusing because I don’t know whether or not I should even go on with my life, I only have one friend and the pain is just crushing me.
It also doesn’t help that I had a girlfriend before all this back in august, who did the same thing to me. Thankfully it was a long-distance relationship but it was bloody in the end, so I’ve really been paranoid ever since. Not to mention my best friend, who I still love a bit, and it still hurts every time I think about what I could have done right. So 2010 has been an emotional wreck for me in general.
I’ve been contemplating suicide since the beginning of december, but now I’m really doing my research and I’m glad I found THIS site (so thanks again guys). But yeah, I’m reading up and I’d like to know just how I should kill myself, because I don’t dig knives but I don’t have any firearms on me either. I also don’t want to screw up and I don’t want to feel pain. I’m trying to get my hands on some sleeping pills (or antidepressants for that matter), but that will take a while, so I’d like any good ideas in that aspect.
But yeah, that’s my story. Feel free to comment or give constructive criticism. Still trying to figure out my life right now.
7 comments
I will tell you two things.
1) Overdosing on pills is both the most commonly used method to attempt suicide and the method that is most commonly FAILED. It is very unlikely that you will die, you’re more likely to make yourself horribly sick for a few days. So don’t bother with that one, it is neither painless nor effective.
2) Have you tried talking to a psychiatrist? If you’re already prepared to kill yourself, what do you have to lose? If it works, you’ll be able to live a reasonably happy life, if not, than nothing will have changed.
Hi there Noodle12! I’m Violet Blake, I’ve been posting on this site for over a year and I’m delighted to tell you that you’ve come to the right place. Wow…I know exactly how you feel! I had this same thing happen to me but it was with my close friend whose a girl and she knew I really liked this guy, who still is my best friend to this day, but she knew I liked him and decided to go and steal him from me and they started dating behind my back. It hurt so bad what she did, and I can’t blame him because he didn’t know i liked him….LIKE him. Anyways, the pain lasted a long time, the whole time they were dating which was about two months and every single time I saw them holding hands it just hurt like hell to see them so happy, but i got through it and it’s better now. She told me she was sorry and I told her it was fine, because it is! Sure, I lost trust in her for a little while but when she called me on the phone crying that he had dumped her I knew I had to be there for her because that’s what a real friend would do.
The pain WILL subside. I promise you that much. I don’t know how old you are, but you seem young to me, maybe not younger then me, but if I have a guess I’d have to say you are younger then me. This leads me to say you’ve got your whole life ahead of you and it is going to be filled with heartbreak and disappointment and betrayal and pain, but it isn’t going to be like that forever. High school and junior high and college are just the start of your life, just a miniscule part in the grand picture. So, at this point, I’d say committing suicide is the worst idea in the world you could have, but like i said, i know the feeling.
If you ever want to talk about things or just need someone to vent too my email is rerdmank1@gmail.com and i also have a facebook under Violet Blake, so just look me up and when you see a girl with long curly black hair and green eyes then you’ve got the right girl 🙂
god bless and stay safe!
~Violet Blake
I don’t have MUCH, because without my friends I really have not much to do with my life, and I’ve already been dead inside for ages after the loss of the first gf so, no not much to lose over here.
But yeah the pills I don’t know lol, I’m not entirely sure about the kind of sleeping pills I have to use for it and I don’t have a good excuse to get a prescription so I’m screwed in that aspect.. I’ll keep searching though.
Its wonderful that you have loved so strongly.
And you will love again and that love will be even stronger. and maybe again and again.
Pain isn’t a bad thing. Everyone should feel pain, trying to get rid of it or never feel it is self destructive to their humanity.
I think you should go on with your life. I am 13 and I am stuck in hell as we speak. I can not do anything about it. I have to live through it, which is the hardest. That is what i have learned to do. Maybe you should do the same. You seem like a strong person. You can do it.
Oh my gosh! NO!! I don’t know you, but listen to me carefully : DONT SOMMIT SUICIDE OVER HEARTBREAK!!! I understand how tough it can be, my friend went through the same thing, finally it’s our sophomore year in High School and she’s over it. It took her 4 years, but she overcame it and now she feels victorious. I was suicidal over physical and verbal abuse and the death of my bestest friend who was also my only friend and because of attempted rape. So, to me, the fact that you would kill yourself over a girl is just simply sad and it sounds like a bad excuse for dying. I feel you, but the pain will go away. According to what you’ve said, it seems to me like she’s somewhat a flirt. I know girls like her very well. They do what they need to do to get a guy and then they bored with him and move on. Just wait and you’ll see! She’ll probably dump your guy friend too. Then, she’ll move on. And I’l bet this girl likes drama. A girl like that once broke my brother’s heart and she kept making terrible comments at me in the locker room. So, just hang in there buddy. Feel free to talk to me whenever. my email is wwjd_rena@yahoo.com
Goddammit you guys are awesome… Both of them apologized to me yesterday and I feel better now and I don’t want to kill myself but I’m gonna stay here just for the hell of it lol.
That being said, Violet I’m gonna email you my fb and you can add me, and yeah I’m 15 so I’ll assume you guys can see where I’m coming from, so thanks alot, I haven’t talked to people like this in a long time.