Hi everyone, I just found this site and I’m glad to now know that those stories about sites on suicide and nothing else exist. So thanks, lol.
On a less happy note, I’ll tell my story here.
So, about 2 months ago now, I met this really nice girl at school who I did make a move on and it worked, I found out that we share many things like our taste in music and in video games etc. It was really nice, I was madly in love with her by the first month and we got pretty far. We dated a bit but never ended up kissing, which I was about to do at the time.
This all lasted until halfway through the second month, where she suddenly decided that she wasn’t interested anymore and to top it all off she also decided to get in a relationship with my best guy friend, who for some reason I don’t know, betrayed me and went with it. So they’re both in a relationship now and I’ve lost both my best friends. I have one person who cares now who’s a girl I dated a while back but got nowhere with, and she has a boyfriend anyway so she tries to understand the pain I tell her about but doesn’t truly get it, I can tell. I love her to death but I’ve just given up on her trying to help me.
So, I’m overcome with pain and every time I walk past her locker or his locker, every feeling that I forgot by occupying myself with other things comes rushing back all at once and I have mental breakdowns in class… And I cry more than I can understand.. It’s so confusing because I don’t know whether or not I should even go on with my life, I only have one friend and the pain is just crushing me.
It also doesn’t help that I had a girlfriend before all this back in august, who did the same thing to me. Thankfully it was a long-distance relationship but it was bloody in the end, so I’ve really been paranoid ever since. Not to mention my best friend, who I still love a bit, and it still hurts every time I think about what I could have done right. So 2010 has been an emotional wreck for me in general.
I’ve been contemplating suicide since the beginning of december, but now I’m really doing my research and I’m glad I found THIS site (so thanks again guys). But yeah, I’m reading up and I’d like to know just how I should kill myself, because I don’t dig knives but I don’t have any firearms on me either. I also don’t want to screw up and I don’t want to feel pain. I’m trying to get my hands on some sleeping pills (or antidepressants for that matter), but that will take a while, so I’d like any good ideas in that aspect.
But yeah, that’s my story. Feel free to comment or give constructive criticism. Still trying to figure out my life right now.