Every day that goes by is consumed with fantasies of ending all the pain I feel..desperate to be free of these hopeless thoughts, painful memories and broken dreams.
Even in sleep I cannot shake the desire to end my so called life. I enjoy those dreams..i feel so close to peace within those dreams..but then I wake up.. despite the constant wishing the nights before, that I will not open my eyes ever again.
Each day these fantasies seem to get more graphic and more tempting..
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I can relate very much…
You and I are in a very similar state of mind.
… thats just how i feel. perhaps we can dream together, hm? i have found out though, by helping others feel happy, this helps me feel happy as well. i cant imagine how you are, but this “technique” turned my life around.
I feel the same I go to sleep every night praying not to wake up but I always do then im in a bad mood. I wish I could just dissapear or the world would just end. The thought of killing myself and it not being to brutal and succeeding makes me happy and gives me a calm feeling, But im terrified of screwing it up. Im obsessed with my suicidal thoughts I plan on hanging myself soon!
If only it was that simple.. I wouldve died a long time ago. My dreams torture me now, all the things that have knocked me down and made me feel like this, everytime I go to sleep I relive it.
I relate to you a lot in this post though.
You are not alone..
My world is also a hundred times more vivid than this boring, dull so-called “Real world”.
But maybe dreams are there for a reason..
Maybe it’s the signs from another world, from our Higher-Self, from “The Source”, God, or signs of how our world IS supposed to be,..whatever
Our life is a choice.
And we can certainly *choose* to channel our extra-vivid dreams into something… maybe as an Art, a piece of blog writing or poetry, maybe an invention, maybe as a spark/inspiration to channel that ‘warm’ feelings in our dreams into the Real world, maybe for helping others or similar like-minded souls, maybe to connect with others’ dreams… there are many possibilities.
“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” ~ Tony Robbins