I really have been totally burned out. I’ve had the good times when my therapist and doctor too thought that I was getting better. But all of them have ended here, even deeper in depression and suicidal thoughts and act than I started. I just can’t take another getting better, ’cause I know how hard the end of it hits.
So please, don’t ask me why I want this or why isn’t there another option. Death is the only one who’s still able to help me. Hospital, drugs, therapy or even rehabilitation house (like something between home and hospital) haven’t been able to change anything. Death is the only way left.
I’m not suicidal, I am doing what’s right. And about people close to me – mum and one friend – if they knew how hard it is, they’d kill me instead of making me do it. Mum has been considering of killing herself too, so I know that in the exact moment she knew what I did, she’d do the same for her so she would’nt have to suffer.
And would’nt it be kinda creepy and fascinating if mum, her daughter and her daughter killed themselves? I mean, my grandmum did it too.
But what’s the point of my entry, please would you tell me what you think is the best way to do this? I’ve been thinking hanging but I don’t have proper rope for it. I’m still 17 and do not have lisence for gun on anything easy. Also I’ll get money in the end of month so no, I do not have money to buy anything expensive. Me and mum do have medical drugs so overdose? But it’s not so sure way. Co-poisoning I would do, but always when the car is available, mum is at home too.
Please, tell me what to do. You can also e-mail me at peeti-kun@hotmail.com I DO NOT NEED ANY HELP! It hasn’t helped me in one too many years, so do not try to make me continue this suffocation.
Thank you!
8 comments
I think the best way to do it is to “not do it” your only 17! Maybe you just haven’t spoke to the right person/people. You’re only young, and have got years ahead of you.. If you don’t need help, then why ask for help about toppin yourself? It’s sad really..
I’m not gonna say anything about you being too young since I’m only a year older than you, I’m thinking of using the exit bag method, it seems like the easiest option. Overdoses can be messy. Tried and failed with an overdose.
…I dont really know what to say other thn i dont want you to kill yourself…hve you talk to any friends about this??…Would they be hurt??
Thank you so much for replying me. I seriously can not take anything anymore, it doesn’t matter if I’m only 17. And anyway, I’ve wanted to die since I was 10 so do you really think that it will be better without the hard-hitting end? No, I don’t think so too.
So I thought maybe an overdose slowly enough (like 5min between two pills?) and an exit bag.
Well I have talked with my best friend, who actually is in mental hospital at the moment, about this. She knows how hard it can be so she will be happy for me.
Dear Anae,
How comes you have been like this from 10.Has no-one got to the cause of it?or you know what the problem is but can’t live with it.
n o o m, I’ve been through psychological and every kind of analysis and I am depressed. Treated for depression for long time with many different ways. Cause? People gave up trying to find out the cause since I was on mental hospital for the second time.
so this could be a hereditary thing rather than from some traumatic experience that happened in your life Anae ey?
you tried getting a hobby and meeting some people you can fit in with
Just forget and live your life
psychs just make shit worse half the time.
All they want is money, just like all doctors
You dont need anyone,
What a waste of talent.
Depression is hectic,
once your sad for along time, it so hard stop being sad.
If you want to die,
try something painful/out of the ordinary, like jumping infront of a train
so at least their will be a story about you.
Overdose is harder to do then people think, 9/10 times youll wake up alive
.Human body is amazing
Carbon monoxide poision (the cars exhaust fumes) it takes like 20 minutes
I like a good sturdy poision that guarantees death. Like cyanide, aresenic,
Sarin, cia clam poision
Or get hydrogen peroxide and douse yourself with it, walk down the street, when the hydrogen evaporates, 5 parts oxygen explode, with a bright light, Ive always wanted to see someone instantaneously combust.
i reckon it would be cool.