well, I almost had to go to the doctor today after telling the doc how I’ve been feeling.
She wanted me to stay in the hospital, but yet again,
we dont have the money.
I know I need help, professional help, and I’m not gonna find that from my mom.
Yeah she went through depression, but she still deals with it now.
I want to see a therapist, but we don’t have any money.
Because theres a lot of things I can’t tell my mom or anyone else.
And I would feel more comfortable telling a stranger.
The doctor told my mom that someone has to be with me 24/7.
so my mom basically follows me where ever I go.
In fact I have to sleep in the same room as her, so shes on the other side of the bed, as I type this.
I really just want to die. I havn’t sunk this low in god knows how long. I’m truly not happy with life. Nothing gives me joy anymore. I hate everyone. I seriously just wish my mom would leave me alone so I can finally do it.
I just need to think of a plan to do it, but it’s gonna be hard with my mom breathing down my neck.
ugh. fuck.
I’m miserble. I’m literately dead inside. I need to be dead on the outside too.
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2 comments
You absolutely do not need to be dead on the outside! There is hope I promise you. If you feel comfortable talking to me I would be honored to talk to you and get to know you! I will not judge you and only seek to help you, back off when you want me to and be there if you need me. You’re precious to me and to God. If you want to talk please email me 🙂
Love,
Adrianne
altera.ad@gmail.com
I feel a lot of what you do…you are not alone pal…many many people feel the same nothingness. Part of whatever Mother Nature is doing at this time to shift things in to balance….it’s hard. Just know you haven’t been forgotten, although it often feels that way…Cheers! You can msg me if you feel. My skype id is softsoul9