My story blends in so well with everyone else’s. I had a rough childhood and after many different actions I ended up going to therapy. They diagnosed me bipolar and automatically put me on meds. After a summer experimenting with pot I dropped the meds. Then I tried to kill myself with them. I failed and ended up being Baker Acted. Once I got out I felt the same. I have no friends that truly love me, never been kissed and I am almost legal, and life is just too bland. I told my doctor about my plans Friday. Today is Monday. Still I feel no change so am I planning on it. Tonight. Today. Sooner rather than later. I already cut my wrist but it still only causes numbing. Pills are out since that’s how I tried it last time, and they put a parent blank on my meds. So now I will probably drown myself in my sink. I just need someone other than my dad to tell me it’s ok, IÂ will get through it. I don’t want to die. But I do.
5 comments
drowning sucks if ur gonna end it do something better i mean do u really wanna end it in a bathroom to?im not one to judge so do wat u want and i cut myself sooooooo…yea?
You can make it through it. Please don’t do this.
You will be okay, don’t hurt yourself anymore. After years of working past my loneliness i know that it can be ok. My 23 birthday is on Thursday, and am still a virgin because of my issues, but you know what, i don’t care anymore like i used too. Am still lonely at times, but i can say am happy to be alive, and so can you
Lastvegan, not to take away from your situation as everyone has their struggles….there is a theory that what you focus on grow…the reality is you’re in this situation and it’s best to exercise damage control-if you can distract yourself…listen to music, do volunteer work, help someone out if you can. It’s a really healing thing to be of service to someone else, without looking for reward. As you said, you’ve never kissed a girl, I’m not joking, if I were you I would make that my goal-may help to change your current perspective….you are what your are….you may be bipolar, you may be gifted and sensitive and not know how to deal with it yet. Lack of information and just choosing a default conclusion about a situation doesn’t help you. Your experience does not in any way reflect how valuable and amazing you are-and you haven’t given yourself a chance to see that unfold yet. You are far stronger than you are giving yourself credit for my friend…..the energy you’re putting into your plans can be redirected-you have nothing to lose by trying a simple change in your routine. Your past doesn’t need to be an automatic death sentence either….you can take the reigns and change things for you. Choose to fight…..Good luck. Cheers.
ditto on what softsoul said pretty much.
Bipolar is sometimes -ironically- associated with other ‘positive’ traits/potentials such as highly creative & sensitive.
Unknowing to you right NOW, you might probably have something, even a HUGE thing inside of you, waiting to be unleashed, that you can BE and offer (Connecting) to the world, and Universe.
So you can view it (your bipolar trait) as a ‘tool’ to be used/molded/utilized, for a positive things,..as funny and ironic as it may seems..but that seems to be the way it works..
I wish I could find the Youtube link discussing about this valid point,
I promise when I find it again, I’ll post here in this blue site.