people keep…noticing. they keep asking me if I’m okay. They keep saying ‘oh, you just sound down’ or ‘you look depressed’. even teachers. there’s this one teacher, Everytime I pass by him. ‘you alright? you look upset…y’sure?’ I know what you’re thinking, I should feel grateful right? Then how come I don’t. Well, I do. I’m just scared shitless. Have I really become that obvious? I thought I could hide it well; My mask is slipping, and it’s the only thing I have.
I told myself I’d never let anyone know, without me telling them…I can’t even keep my promise to myself, what the fuck is happening to me. I’m a boulder. Well…used to be…
7 comments
its not healthy to try and lie or mask who you are all day. just saying. i did that for a long time. it ant a good idea. my sister is a teacher and she does above and beyond to try and help her students. maby you should talk to your teacher. they may achualy want to help. well my sis would. hope you feel better soon.
I could never do that, I just, can’t talk to people.
It’s too earlt for everyone to find out though, I still havn’t tried everything to make myself better, by myself, alone. I only want people to know when I ABSOLUTLY have to. And only then.
It’s hard to explain, I know I sound like the whole stereotypical ‘I don’t want help’ teenager, with an ego so large they can’t even accept a helping hand. I just, can’t. Again, hard to explain.
well im all ears if you want to try and talk about it. but then if its to hard for you then no worries.
just know were always listening if you wana chat. hope you feel better soon. 🙂
It’s good that I can vevnt about the things here though, seems weird ‘if you can’t talk to people about it how come you can talk here?’. But I’m weird like that, I trust it here xD and it helps.
Thanks :3
No worries, you seem like such a nice person who is just enduring some bad times so i said i had to try to help. i hope everything works out for yea. always vent when you have to, i have only reacently realised the importance of letting out my emotions. and i always feel better after i do.
i hope school is better for you tomorrow. *hugs*
I do think I’m an alright person :3 I don’t hate myself.
Thanks. :3 you seem like a nice peep too xD it does help, it really actually does, I always feel relieve afterwards.
Apart from not doing my essay (AGAIN) it should be good, it’s friday ;D
We think people won’t like us or who knows if we lift the social mask…and mine cracked a long time. But it’s real…and if something is wrong, that’s okay. You need to give yourself that bros…otherwise you’re in denial and what your resist, persists.
So be honest with yourself at least and just say…I’m having a rough week. We think we’re supposed to be a vision of perfection all the time, when that isn’t close to reasonable or realistic. Go with what is actually going on for you.
It gets harder to talk to people cause you’re distancing yourself..so it sounds anyway. But people can be a surprise. Welcoming their concern and help takes humility, a tremendous strength. Perhaps an adjustment of perspective on how you’re viewing your situation will help you. Best of luck. Cheers!