I have no title

I have no where to write anything or talk to anyone because no one cares.  My entire life has been one horrific series of scarring event after scarring event and every time I keep my chin up telling everyone else how it’s all going to be better.  But you know what?  It isn’t going to be better.  Not now.  Not today.  Never.  It only appears to get better so the next time some new horror comes along it will hurt even more than the last.  You can try to isolate yourself, keep yourself safe, but they find you–they prey on your hope, they prey on your love, they prey on your belief that there really is someone out there you can trust.  And when they work their way into your life, into your heart, when they make sure that they have cajoled you into setting aside all you had to protect your self they rip out your soul again and throw you away without a thought because, hey?  what are you gonna do? kill yourself?  Hmm?  I mean really, you’ll get over, it won’t you?   i mean you have, to, don’t you?  And if you say these words to anyone, anyone at all, they’ll disown you, they’ll never talk to you again, they’ll never have the time of day for you, you crazy freak.  They’ll tell their friends how lucky they were to have avoided the pitfall that was you, they’ll tell everyone the idiot that you were believing their talk of twinflames, and soulmates, and they won’t give a damn that you are bleedign out your soul blood everywhere while they tossed you aside.  They won’t care that they offered you the only thing you ever wanted, they’ll even lie and say they didn’t because what the hell?  What do you matter?  And besides, you can’t go and kill yourself, silly.

I just want to die.

So bad.

I want to die right now.

Please let me die.

I’m begging you. Now.