I was caught shoplifting yesterday and i just turned 18. I’ve been accepted to a lot of colleges and i have a lot of things coming up this summer and graduation. But i just threw all of this away by making a stupid fucking decision. My mom went through hell when i was 16 to get a shoplifting case off my record so i could get into college. Now i just threw it all away, I have to tell her, but i cant. She will be heartbroken when she finds out and i cant do this. I cant sleep i cant eat all i can do is think about how badly i fucked up, again. I dont want to live anymore, i dont know how i can. I’ve ruined everything, everything i’ve ever worked for everything my parents have ever worked for, and now i just feel so alone. What should i do?
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dont worry, considering what the world is heading for i think its safe to say that pretty much noone has much of a future affected by this kind of education…
Well, the first thing you’ve gotta do is just bite the bullet and tell your mom. She’s gonna flip her wig, but it’s better than trying to hide it. Trust me, that won’t work for long. Next, after the fireworks, you should probably sit down and try to figure out what made you go shoplifting again in the first place? You had to have known when you went out to do it that it had the potential to get you in a lot of trouble, so why do it? Those answers would really determine what comes after that.
I think im gonna tell my mom after spring break, im going on a trip and i will probably think about it then and decide what im doing. Theres something seriously wrong with me, this time i shoplifted with this girl i am pretty much in love with. I dont even know why i did it, sometimes i just feel like an observer watching myself do stupid shit. I just dont want her to hate me for it, i dont want my future to be ruined because of this one event. Ive never been so depressed.
I think, it would be better for your family and friends to know, that you was caught shoplifting, than to know, that you killed youself because of it…
Why would she hate you? Also, if shoplifting is a requirement of being with her I’d consider breaking it off. Your future can still be salvaged, it’s never too late. It will, however, take work. You can’t let yourself just go with the flow if the flow leads to breaking the law and messing up your future. Being proactive would be a better solution.
I know i will never do it again, but i said that last time and theres something seriously wrong with me to not learn my lesson the first time. I’m really smart and I got into colleges and i probably can still go, however I know my mom will just be devastated and i dont know what to do. I feel like such a fuck up, she thinks ive been so good lately and i have, i screwed up this one time and i just feel like its over. like things have gone too far and theres nothing i can do.
Like I said, it’s never too late. It’ll take a long time for your mom to trust you again, but if you work at it and really commit to staying away from bad influences you shouldn’t have a huge problem. Colleges will still accept you, and you seem to have learned your lesson now at least. I think dealing with this will be easier than you seem to believe, not to say it will be easy of course… But still.
it took so long for her to trust me last time. she will never trust me again, she will never forgive me for this. i thought i would just get through this on my own but i cant, im 18 but im not an adult. theres nothing i can do, my record is ruined and my parents will never trust me, our relationship will never be the same
I mean, suicide would be a drastic option just for a misdemeanor on my record, but its not just that, its the fact that my parents will never look at me the same, i probably can’t get a job, it seems that i’m uncappable when im in the moment of choosing the right people to be around and making the right choices. I’ve quit smoking pot and drinking and ive gotten straight A’s in school this year. But every once in a while i do something stupid and i always get fucked for it. I just look at my future, and i see nothing.
Your parents love you ccsa, no matter what you think. You say you can’t get through this on your own, then get help. Therapy has done wonders for me, and even though it may seem extreme, it couldn’t really hurt. Don’t worry about getting a job, you’re only 18. It’s one misdemeanor like you said, it won’t screw your life up forever. Just let things run their course, maybe postpone college for a year (most colleges don’t mind if you do that), and work on figuring out what you need to do to improve yourself.
I dont want to postpone college for a year because then i’ll have to reapply, they will do another background check and see the charge. I think im ready for college and it will be good to get away I just dont know how ill change. I had a good thing going for a while and i feel like i just lost everything. True my parents will always love me, but they will never respect/trust/believe in me. thats what i want. Do you think i should talk with a therapist before i break the news to my parents? And i need a job to pay my mom back thousands of dollars and for upcoming court/attorney fees. Im selling everything i own basically. I think it might help if my mom sees im trying to fix it on my own.
I think you should talk to your parents before you decide to do anything. If talking to a therapist isn’t something that’s right for you, then that’s that. However, just remember that your mom will be there for you no matter what things you do, and if you ever need a supporting community we will be here
I think i should tell my mom that i’ve been really depressed and I need to go back to therapy. I’ll talk with my therapist about how I should tell my parents about the incident. I need like a week to process this before i do anything though. 🙁
That sounds like a good idea