I think I’ve screwed up one too many times. My record will be ruined, all my future aspirations are thrown away. I’m too impulsive I can’t make the right decisions. I’m only 18 and i’ve fucked up too many times, I can’t live the rest of my life like this. There’s no fixing what I’ve done. My parents will never look at me the same again. I feel like i’m not meant to be here, ive hardly contributed anything to the world and I don’t know what i’m doing here. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, all I do is think about my purpose and my future. I see nothing.
I was caught shoplifting yesterday and i just turned 18. I’ve been accepted to a lot of colleges and i have a lot of things coming up this summer and graduation. But i just threw all of this away by making a stupid fucking decision. My mom went through hell when i was 16 to get a shoplifting case off my record so i could get into college. Now i just threw it all away, I have to tell her, but i cant. She will be heartbroken when she finds out and i cant do this. I cant sleep i cant eat all i can do is think about how badly i fucked up, again. I dont want to live anymore, i dont know how i can. I’ve ruined everything, everything i’ve ever worked for everything my parents have ever worked for, and now i just feel so alone. What should i do?