So far it seems to be the only thing I can think to say to him sometimes. He’s the nicest guy I know. That’s why I love him. He may be stance sometimes but that’s why I like him, he’s different and tries to help. He knows next to nothing why I cut or why I’m so sad. But he still shows he cares enough for it to really hurt when he starts to talk about the girl he’s in live with. I’m jelous of her, uet Ive never met her. How she could stand to dump him and make him sad I can’t understand. He just wants to everyone to be happy and okay in krder for gim to be happy. But now i feel im just another obsticle for him. Another annoying thing in the way of his path to being happy. He gets mad at me when i slip up and he realizes that i cut or am still sad. I want him to be happy, but I also want to die. The pain of this kills me.
I can’t find the energy to even write well today.
4 comments
Now this is something i understand entirely. I was in your position, as the cutting depressed girl who wanted that man to stay happy no matter what. Don’t focus on him, focus on you else you’ll grow a delicate dependency that can be shattered at his will. A one sided dependency/love only leads to heart ache and suicide attempts. Collect yourself and attempt to think clearly about your situation.
I know what your saying but I’m not solely dependent on him. It just hurts to hear him go an about her when he knows that I do have feelings for him.
I hate talking about boys. It seems so pointless
It does seem pointless on the outside, but this is how we feel. An emotion can never be pointless. If you want him to stop, then tell him so! If he truly is as nice as we believe him to be, he’l be understanding of your feelings, if not, then he wasn’t what we believed him to be.
I’ll still love him though. With no chance of beige loved back.