I am 25 years old. My father passed away a few years ago from prostate cancer. My mother has chronic, severe schizophrenia, paranoid type, and the caregiver burden has taken its toll after all these years, as I am the only other family member around. I have exhausted all resources, and she is still at home deteriorating and degenerating. Her relapses have become more acute, severe, and frequent, yet the hospitals simply medicate her in the short-term and abruptly discharge her, only for her to start acting up again (such as destroying the house) in a few weeks. She has been calm and quiet as of right now, but she is not keeping up personal hygiene, not eating well (she even turns off the refrigerator and keeps out spoiled food and mixes them with household cleaning chemicals), does not keep her follow-up doctor appointments, and refuses to take any medication). I just keeping thinking back to how nice things used to be with our family. Now it’s like both parents are gone, and it’s not just heartbreaking, but it has been killing me slowly. She has been in and out of hospitals numerous times and medication non-compliant, so Adult Protective Services claims that nothing can be done if she is not acting up and displaying violent behaviors. THE MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT SYSTEM IS RIDICULOUS AND DEPLORABLE. I am just at my wit’s end. There is only so much distress and frustration a person can take, and nothing seems to get better regardless of how much I try. I often wonder how other people in my situation would cope. I feel as though I haven’t done anything at all, and that nobody will ever realize how much I have done for my mother to finally get the behavioral treatment she can only get in a structured group home environment of which she is in such dire need.
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It is not limited to the mental health system. The health system in general sucks.
I take care of my wife who has ms. Being the only orderly in the nursing home is awful. I understand your feelings. I never though I was depressed, even as I picked the method I will use to escape, just tired… It’s as if you are given X amount of energy for a given lifetime, and if you use yours up before you die, well… It becomes time to die.
I am not saying that this is the right solution for you. I am almost twice your age- my hope is you have some reserve in the tank and can keep going. I don’t, so I am ensuring everything is in order so that my wife can be taken care of as she should be, in a setting that can help her. It is too late for me, but not for her and hopefully not for you. From experience, I would say RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND! It may sound selfish, but if you don’t set up some situation for your mom (to the best of your ability), and get out NOW, you quill be of little use to her and you may end up like me, trolling for the best way to escape permanently. I have found my way out, I hope you act quickly enough to be able to enjoy the rest of your hopefully long life.