I write because it is like the sound of my own voice, on a piece of paper. It allows me to free myself without everybody knowing what I am actually going through. Not everybody has to know that getting up in the morning is a pain, a pain of knowing that this is just another day that I have to get up and do the same thing that I did yesterday, the day before that, and 5 months ago. Nothing changes really, I do the same things and donâ€™t get me wrong I have atleast gotten used to it now, but I wish I hadnâ€™t, It breaks me down more and more every day and for some reason all I want to do is pull the trigger, not really because I donâ€™t actually have a gun, and there are a lot of things in life that are stopping me, donâ€™t let me sound like an emo freak, Iâ€™m a good person with a good life and good people around me, I guess I have the wrong glasses on because even though I have all that, I still feels like I have nothing, nobody to help me through this long journey because nobody yet understands, I mean I donâ€™t expect anybody too, there arenâ€™t a lot of people that are going through what I have put my self through, donâ€™t make me sound spoiled for a lot of people, the least of their problems is having food on the table and a roof over their head, I get that; but Iâ€™m not under those circumstances, I know what I have and I donâ€™t hesitate to take pride in it, but sometimes, thatâ€™s not what I want. I want everything to go back to normal, but I guess this is the new normal. Keep track of me and this emotional rollercoaster that iâ€™m, with the seat belt on lock, this could get good because..