I really am.
Whenever I’m outside in the street i see people smiling so easily. So carefree and happy of living their lives. While i look at myself and feel like just hiding inside a dark place and never coming out.
The reason i feel this way is because ever since i was little I’ve lived almost all my life with roommates. Not having my own home. And alone with just my mom. No other family. We have ended up in the street and have ended up with people who take advantage of our kindness and steal from us. I wish i had my own home. But my mom is always sick. And i can’t even find a job to help her. We are so low in funds we can’t afford anything. The place i live in currently is a closet. I sleep in the floor inside a closet with no door. The closet is about 5 feet wide and 4 feet tall. its like a box. The roommates, are a family of 7. They are LOUD all day and don’t let us sleep, breath or eat at all. They don’t respect us, and they steal from us the only money we have. They take advantage of our kindness and back stab us. It just goes to show how being nice doesn’t help you one bit. I’m tired of life. it is not fair others get help of getting a sweet home..where they can sleep in a bed..all warm..and happy. I’m crying so much. I hate this. My mother so sick all the time. All alone. And can’t even get a job. What a useless child i turned out to be. I still remember when she would tell me when i was little that i was going to help her so much when i grew up. And look at me now. I can’t even help myself. a doctor i know told me she might not even last next year. I wish i had a home we could afford. I wish i could see her smiling and happy. If i had 3 wishes it would be my mother’s health, secure money to pay for our home each month and PEACE. Is it too much to ask for a peaceful place? Yet all we get is crap. I’m tired of it all. Just walking in circles. Before we moved in here we ended up in the street. We had to stand in the stop bus and pretend we were asking people if they could help us afford a bus ticket. But what we were really doing was trying to save up enough money for a room in a hotel near by. The worst thing is that it was raining all that time. I use to love rain, but now when i see it, it brings bad memories. Sitting in the rain in Christmas was not a pleasant thing. I don’t know if i should just give up and die. Its not helpful when even your mother saids to you sometimes that she wants to give up. She told me ones that the only reason she is still alive is because she doesn’t want to leave me all alone. And because I’m the only good reason she still wants to live. That only made me feel worst. i don’t anymore. I’m losing hope.
4 comments
wow,,,
I don’t know what to say….
I live alone in a 3 bedroom house…
I could help you but it takes all my money just to support myself
if your looking for a place to stay I can help you… I am part of the US army I am a combat medic.
my e mail is lance2005_lovato@hotmail.com
I am 32 and not crazy
I’m on this site mostly because I feel alone and there are hard nights for me people have died on me and I have been left by people
but if you want to get into contact this is a ligitimate offer I live a 5 minute walk from the mall and because I don’t make that much it’s everything I have just to maintain this place. use my e mail if you want to talk to me I very trustful and love quite life gets better. trust me
I am in Estonia. I have a new flat where I live alone. I hardly have food for myself but if you are without a roof, I can offer you that. The place is lovely, absolutely quiet, brand new and nice heating.
If you are in the States do try the offer of the gentleman above. It sounds very good and the way you have described your terrible situatioin with such a calm tells me you are someone extraordinary.
TO Im Tired,
First off to the 2 people that offered a pllace to live-ypu are wonderful hummn beings. I thought I am bad off and am but in a different way. But your story made me cry. we will lose our home and life soon , I think the uncertiny isI do not know how old you are but I amguessng young. sick next will be child support-I will have no mmoney and wiI am on the opposite siide and am very siick with parkinsons. I am a sick father taking care of a beautful girl and i feel bad because I told her that I want to die. because of my illness horrible. I do not sllep and worry about every everything.
I am being sued for money and my daughter has beeen given over to my x wife who does not truly care abut her, Now I am going back and forth to court on charges because ii am ll probab;y die in jail I lllove my daughter more than anything and can ot forgive my self for long my job and my home. I took my daghter everywhere I went and was always there for her I am very suicidal but can not liive withoout seeing my daughter weekly whioch I do I am caught between heaven and hell Ddeaing with the parkinsons is terrible both physicaly and mentally.
and am worrying my self to death I can not believe everything that is happening everything was normal and happy 2 years ago then I gotvery sick sudddenlly. I have got tooo much on my plate and can no longer leave my home and am scared of everyhing but am essedaly scared for my daughter to grow up without her father adyes i am scared for myself beyond reason
I too dream of a dfferent life one oof playing in the park with my daughter always -I am crying
I thought my life was bad but now i see that other people would be so happy having what i have. I have a house of my own, i have family that can help me and i don’t have to face cruel people. And yet i still complained about my life. You in the other hand would be happy having all what i have. And i feel guilty not being grateful for what i have when i see other people who don’t have this would be so happy. I’m so sorry, I hope so much that your life finds a way out of the bad place your in and i hope someone helps you so you and your mother can find happiness.