This is going to be quite a large vent, maybe it’ll help sort things out.
Issue 1.
Pissed off. One of our friends, Lets call her Zoan, has litterally fucked us all over. She’s talked about all of us behind our backs, she’s been a hypocrite, and she’s tried to break a couple up within out circle of friends. Everyone despises her. Thing is, she’s having family issues, and she supposedly cut herself. What the fuck am I supposed to do, if it’s fake, and I go back to her, she’ll do everything all over again. But if it’s not fake. I’ll have another friend who self harms.
Issue 2.
My friend, (let’s say Emily) self harms because of family issues. She’s told me, vented to me etc etc, she knows I’ve done it. We’ve swapped stories and showed scars, thing is though, she only did little cuts on her wrists, I did longer ones on my shoulder. She did it all over her shoulder last night, and think she’ feeling it’s a compition, like if she doesn’t do it like me. I won’t care.
Also, she’s treating it like it’s something we can socialise over. I don’t want that. She even smiles and laughs, and goes ‘Oh I did it again!LOLOL, wanna see”. It’s frustrateing.
Issue 3.
When I like someone, I like then for a long time, I’ve only properly like three guys, first one, for 6 months, second, a year and a half, third one, I still kinda like after almost two years.
Number 1, fucked off, number 2, fucked off, and number three. You guess it. Fucked off. Each of them leaving me shattered, and wondering wtf went wrong. Now, I like another guy, and I’m so bloody afraid he’ll do the same. Get me attached, tell me he’ll never let me go, that he loves me. And then as soon as I need him, he’ll fuck off. I’ve had enough of that. And I’m getting to the point of thinking of avoiding him. Yes, I’ve only known him for a little while, but does that really matter? It still hurts.
Issue 4.
Well, This is something that I just can’t seem to let go of, It involves issue 1 and 3. Zoan, met Charlie, and he jokingly said “I wanna marry you” to Zoan, and of course she had to go on and on about how she ha him and I don’t. I fucking hate her for it. She has no idea how much that hurt, and how pissed off I am at her for it. God, I just want to make her pay for saying that. I really do, I’m a really forgiving person, someone can kill my dog, and I’ll forgive them like that. But this, I just can’t seem to let go of it. I just. Urgh! I wanna kill her!
Done, vent gone.
4 comments
i can see why you’d be pissed off, it seems stupid she would compete with you over cutting. i’ve never done it myself, i tend to just go for a tattoo, lol, same thing i guess. but she doesn’t seem serious, like she seems like shes actually coping fine and just does it because it gets her attention.
her going for the guy you like, that will hurt, i’ve had it done to me, and done it myself, other way around though, girls, not guys, lol. i don’t know what you can do with that, but you seem like you are still young, you say you are in highschool, i may be a hypocrite, but you have time to live, time to be single and find yourself without guys.
I don’t think she’s doing it for attention, it’s just, she’s got it in her head from past experiences that she needs to compete to get anything. But Zoan, yeah, she’s doing it for attention, I’m sure of that.
yeah, 15. But I’m quite mature in certain aspects. like, my friend will be like “HE’S SO HOT, ASK HIM OUT FOR ME” and then a day later they’ll break up. Like I said, when I really like a guy. I like ’em for a long time.
Ive been single for about a year now, just getting the urge to have someone to talk to though, be giddy with. xD Just like a pick me up, now that I think i could handle a relationship. But the guy I like, is 7000 miles away. Across a freakin’ ocean. But I ciuld handle a long distance relationship, plus I plan on going over to the states to visit family nexxt year anyway.
It’s just the sort of thing that like, I know the chances of him being the one forever are so slim, but it’s nice to ave someone. y’know? And why not give it a shot. I like him, and as far as I can tell from what he’s said, and his friend have said, he likes me. Worth a shot though? Ever chance is worth it. Never know, he could be the guy I spend the rest of my life with, not likely, but still a chance xD
If it doesn’t work out, I’ll live with it, I’ll be sad, but I’ll move on.
Such and interesting rant 🙂 the part abbot cut competitions sickens me though….she is just…wow and the subject of liking/loving? Well you can’t expect a soul mate at 15 but at the same time…there’s a chance..Hm…but I sympathize with the part about the three guys…ven though I’m a guy but yeah there’s my comment enjoy or hate it…your choice
I think I worded it wrong, made her seem bad. Like I said, she’s been trained to think that if something isn’t greater than or equal to something, it doesn’t matter. It’s not right, but I know why she does it.
That’s exactly what I think, I don’t think or expect him to be my soul mate. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t.