What’s a title anyways..?

Why does it seem like just me…? i feel like i’m backed so far into this corner that i have nothing left but this… Everyone says it’ll get easier. They’ve been telling me that since the 6th grade.. It’s not any better now in high school.. They laugh and i think it’s at me. They say i’m pretty, but then talk about me as soon as i turn around. Bullied? no. not bullied. alone? yes.. very much so… The ‘rents? oh, they’re much worse…beaten+verbal abuse+bullied=? suicide? i can’t i can’t…he pulls me back from this deep deep depression and into reality… he makes the world seem so much less cruel… then he leaves…and it’s just that much worse… he’s gone… forever…what do i do…i can’t stay here… i pray for cancer each night before bed. I’ve gotten help, just doesn’t work. drinking, tried it. doesn’t work. refuse to smoke or do drugs. they’ll just magnify the problem.. there’s nothing left here.