when will it be my time?

I changed my entire fucking life, and now it’s even fucking worse, it’s always the same shit; getting ignored, fucked with, and nothing is ever fair. Why would someone get promoted when I was doing his work too? Fuck him. I can’t stand being miserable anymore. I can’t eat anymore, and I really don’t do anything I ever want to do, because I never get to anyway. I keep trying to tell myself, “just wait til’ next week, you’ll get yours” WHEN? When will I get treated like a fucking human being and my family to stop treating me like shit? Today I got complimented by my boss for doing a good job, that was the first time I’ve been complimented in 2 fucking years. My family doesn’t care, I got caught with a knife pressed into my throat by my mother and she said I was crazy, which makes me feel worse. I think my purpose in life is to be miserable.  And I can’t talk to God because whenever I try, I can’t stop thinking of negative shit, so it just associates it with Him making it worse, so I haven’t prayed in a long time. I’m just so fucking pissed off, fuck everyone I work with, they can gossip if they want, I WILL GET MY DAY. Whether it be in Heaven soon or a miracle happens.