12 and suicidal?

Well. I’m 12. And I was extremely suicidal. And I had a friend over one day because my mom works, my brother and sister were gone, and my dad has passed away. So I wouldn’t feel alone I had my friend, Shawnia over. So, she said she was going to my little cousin, Evangelia’s house. I texted her and said ‘Me and Shawnia are coming over.’ She replied back ‘Only Shawnia. My gma doesn’t like you.’ I teared up a little because my own aunt doesn’t like me. So Shawnia left me. I felt alone. After 45 minutes of just watching TV Shawnia texted me saying ‘I’m coming to get my thing. I’m going to stay at Evangelia’s.’ I got really pissed off because that’s my friend. So, Shawnia came over and got her stuff. I teared up a little bit more because of the lonelyness I felt. I grabbed glass I had been hiding from my mother and pressed it up against my wrist but it was too dull. So I took 4 bottles of my dad’s exspired pills because of his heart condition. As I sat on the counter taking aspiran I thought about the saw in the shed. I took the rest of the aspiran and grabbed a unopened bottle of Advil PM and walked to the shed. Shawnia saw me said yelled ‘What are you doing?!’ I looked at her with the saw in my hand and said calmly ‘Taking pills.’ So I poured about 15 in my hand and took them. So Shawnia started crying and I said ‘What are you crying for you left me.’ So I took the rest of the pills and walked inside. Feeling a little bit sleepless and reckless I smashed my limited addition Nightmare Before Christmas Urn that I bought from Disneyland. So I called my sister, Tiffany telling her she couldn’t tell anybody. Not to call mom or Dillon my brother she said she wouldn’t. So, I told her I took 6 bottles of pills she yelled at me and called out mom. So our mom called me and told me to throw up and when she got home we were going to the hospital. So I blacked out and Tina, my other sister and took me to Jack in the Box. Great right? So I was blacked out and kind of throwing up on my own. So I threw up in our truck. So my mom came home and forgot what I had done. I was stubbling and sluring my words. After a while some one asked me what my favorite color was. I said mac n’ cheese. Then my mother remembered and took me to the emergency room. I was hooked up to wires and sticky things and my whole body was twiching. So a man came in and asked me a series of questions. I answered truly which made me a unfit human being. But my mom was trying real hard to get me out of the hospital after all the fake outs she pulled. The nurse said if I left she would call Metro. But where I live we get our own police department so an officer named Sanchez came down and made the doctor and nurses unhook me off everything and a let me go without problems. But, I am a suicide survivor.