My Time Has Come

I am a 15 year old that has had the roughest years ever to start i think i might be anarexic cuz i skip lunch and think im fat all the time and weigh 140 lbs. My parents hate me they actually make fun of me and dont take my opinions into account and my dad found gay porn on my computer i mean i dont really wanna be gay it all started in 4th grade everyone called me gay cuz i hung out girls so i turned gay cuz everyone said so and im not proud of it and i dont get horny when the guys change for band in the locker room. Band thats a whole paragraph in itself more specifically drumline. I just started with no expierience in percussion and im holding everyone back i started in jv and again as concert and my main instruments were cymbals and bells which was horrible. I take a long time to learn notes and im horrible with rhythm. I need the credits for PE and fine arts but im being bullied i told the director but it didnt help i look at my clock every minute during practice waiting for it to be over. I have people to talk to but if someone asked them if i was there friend they would say no. The only thing that kept me from looking for help earlier was i went out with a sophmore a really hot girl but we broke up and she didnt tell me why. And three girls liked me and I picked her. I feel horrible i just wanna die i have an idea that when i was 6 i almost died and fell through the banister but my dad grabbed me thats when death gave me ADHD and a screwed up life instead of trying to take me he would watch me suffer. I really wanna die no one would care im just a messed up child whos parents hate him and has no friends.