what i missed the most

at one point in time i was seriously considering killing myself

im 18 right now and just graduated high school

i was fat. i had no friends. i felt like i didnt fit in with my family.

i couldnt ever really tell anyone how i was feeling. it was and is so hard to explain. all i know is that it is a dark andplace. lonley

what i missed the most through my darker days was the laughter. REAL laughter. I couldnt have a real good laugh. i couldnt laugh until my belly ached and tears streamed down my eyes. i missed that so much. it was like my brain knew when something was funny and would force me to laugh but i couldnt feel the laughter. i couldnt feel the happiness.

i can remember the first good laugh i had after i started getting better. im getting choked up just thinking about it. i remember how good it felt to laugh again. the first time i laughed again, a total peace and calmness came over me. right then i knew that everything was going to be okay.

imagine a life where you can say, “i feel okay”… imagine how stress free that life is. imagine.

please get help.

i am begging you with tears in my eyes.

i love every single one of you who has ever felt the way i have.

comment and let me know if you’re out there