Hello, i don’t know where you all come from but at the moment in my country it’s 1 a.m. Am still in school am 17 years old. I don’t know where am going. Everything around me make me sad or kinda depressif. All my friends are in college, so they don’t have time for me. They are all always busy. And i have no one too talk about how i feel. So i guess why not talk to a page called Suicide Project ? I don’t know what i was searching for on google. By the way sorry if, my english is not perfect. I hope you will be able to understand me. I’ve been throught 2 cancers in my all life. The first one at 7 i think, the second one at 14. And now i feel like i miss this time, when i was at the hospital for my medications against my Cancer. Am affraid of the future, i feel like i would just drop everything… and live in the streets and have no money. I don’t wanna wake up in 7 hours.. i don’t wanna go to school. It’s not like, it’s horrible for me to go to school. But still… i just wanna sleep… cause it’s the only moment where am not thinking about all this… about death… about… hope… about school… my parents… my friends… It’s been three weeks since the last time i was with a friend i think… i don’t remember actually the last time i talk to a friend.. I don’t have a Girlfriend cause i think it’s a waste of time.. cause now i know that love is not so awesome like in the hollywood movies… anyway. I think am gonna go back to bed… I don’t understand why people call me a fighter cause i survive to 2 cancers… am not a fighter… am only a lonely scary kid. Who think is life… is not worth to be live. Again sorry for my poor english.
Chiensombre…
4 comments
Don’t worry about the english bro, way better than any foreign language I could speak. Do some research on God, even if your not a spiritual person. There’s always a way out of tough times.
You communicate clearly- I understood what you said better than most of the people I know who use perfect grammar and spelling.
All my friends from highschool are either off to college, or have moved on to other people more ‘grown up’ than me or other places less depressing than this one. I got one friend from highschool who isn’t too cool to hang out with me- he was one of my teachers.
I was homeless for 2 years and traveled around meeting people it wasn’t all roses but I did manage to find at least one true friend. You can’t sleep all day when you’re homeless, you have to be constantly on the go, always looking for where’s your next meal going to come from and where are you going to sleep and where after that because if you stay with someone for too long you’ll wear out your welcome- I wouldn’t sleep or eat for days, but at times felt more alive than any time else in my life- suicide wasn’t a tangeable option because I was too busy surviving to even consider it.
you think life’s a bunch of bullshit and not worth living so you want to go be homeless or kill yourself? I’d say that makes you a fighter in a sense- you’re fighting to find meaning.
relationships are overrated, especially if you’re a street person; but perhaps you might find a nice girl who’d let you crash on her couch a few days a month and make you a nice warm meal who wouldn’t mind giving you a blowjob every now and then. the lady in red- like in Taj Mahal’s song. There’s a lot of lonely girls that get mad at their boyfriends, or they don’t want to be in a relationship, or they’re insane, or they have husbands that are never around for them. good luck.
Sleep is great I like it too, but, cancer won’t let me sleep too long. I was homeless for a while, couple of years, decided to go to college and man I really didn’t fit in at first.But I kept up, my life isn’t so great now again. again and again. I kept trying when I was younger like you, not so sure now
Thanks everyone, i feel better to know you’re advice… i don’t no where am going with all this. I still don’t know if i want to finish my highschool to go to college after that. But i know now that there’s still a bunch of people who care about a guy who’s writting things about is life on internet. So thank you. And thanks Tinfire and Tastelikecherries you’re advice was significant for me.