Help

Hi, thanks for reading. My names Julian and I’m 13 years old
I don’t know If I’m old enough to experience deppression. But I feel like I’m being ripped in half. I’m having terrible pains and can not eat. If I do eat something I feel really sick afterwards. I dont know what to do. It’s all happening at once and I’m torn, and I feel like no one is here for me anymore. I’ll tell you everything but it would probably bore you to death. I remember being a child id always ask my parents that they would never divorce. They always answered “no.” so I thought life was good and it was. I had amazing parents. They supported me in everything. They loved me and I knew it. But one day when I was at school my dad and mom got in a big fight over my grandmother who lived in the basement. Babi is what I call her. Babi is one of those people that really loves and cares about you a little too much. She’s extremely paranoid. But this feud between them hadn’t started there. It started way back when my mom emigrated to Canada from the Czech republic. She came and of course met my dad and they fell in love. She brought him home to meet her mother. Babi wasn’t happy she didn’t want her daughter marrying a yellow man she was a bit racist back then. And continually set up blind dares for her with white men. But she was in love with my dad. Then my Babi and my mom got in a big feud over him. So my mom ran away. She stayed with my dad in his house. There’s more but I don’t feel comfortable telling you. Although it’s nice of you to read this much so far. So where were we. So as i said my mom and dad got in a fight because babi was being over paranoid. So he left and drove to Alberta (we live in Ontario) he drove all the way over there just because of my grandma… He’s so oblivious. My mom and sister decided to keep this from me as I am the most emotional in the family. But when they finally told meni literally had an emotional break down right then and there and I was like 9… It was scary for everyone. My mom didnt know how to take it so she became close with one of her co workers. To close. He came back because he couldn’t convince my mom to move us over there. he came back and everything seemed fine it was normal even and I was happy. For 3 years… Then of course it came back and my dad and my mom were arguing again like all parents do. And that was the time my uncle and aunt had come over. And they were all arguing with my dad on how he should treat us better and how leaving to Alberta was a terrible mistake. That couldn’t just be forgotten. So after the argument he asked my sister and I to come downstairs and talk to him. So we did and he was crying. I have never seen him cry before. I felt awful. He gave us a hug and apologized for leaving. And everything was fine until we went on vacation up north
to Sudbury. We went camping and at night at the campgrounds they had a campfire where they sang songs and stuff. And so my mom and dad and sister went there and this guy was playing guitar and singing. My mom is weird ever since my dad left she never had that attachment to my dad anymore. My dad got jealous and basically my mom pretty much knew she shouldnt be going back to the firepit anymore so she stayed back cause she didn’t want to fight with my dad on anything else for our sake. And everything seemed fine so my mom decided to tell my dad about her little thing with her co worker. She told us she never had sex with him but to tell you the truth I don’t really tryst that. She told him that he hurt her and was being all truthfull and such. My dad was outraged… Argueig with her that she cheated on him. So days went by and I decided to tell my dad to be nicer to my mom cause he was always angry with her. And he kind of ignored me so I got furious he shouldn’t be ignoring his son like that. So I raised my voice and shouted at him to get smart! And boy did that set him off. You see my dad is literally two people hes a sweet charming man that is very encouraging but When you get him angry he becomes a completely different person. He picked me up by the neck and threw me across the kitchen floor. It really didn’t hurt it just happened so fast I didn’t feel anything until afterwards. So he started telling at me that I shouldn’t be talking to him that way. So I went to my room and had yet another Emotional breakdown and my sister came upstais to my room and was trying to make me feel better and then my dad came up I thought he was gonna apologize but he never did not even to this day. But that was the last straw my mom had had enough of this and told my dad that he was being extremely childish so they sat down at the table and argued with each other until they called my sister and I Down stairs and asked us if they want my dad to leave. I was astonished that they would ask the children if they wanted the dad to leave. They both are my parents I’m not gonna choose sides!!! So my dad divorced my mom. And he’s found another women and I can’t type anymore cause infeel like I’m gonna die cause I’m crying so hard…