marie.

I think of you everyday.

I think of you, I think of you and I try to measure how much it hurts to not be able to talk to you. It has been too long that it has become hard to remember the feeling of being your friend. And when I do catch that feeling, I can feel a sense of peace, then it leaves me just as soon as I begin to remember. I have sunken and drifted too apart from you, and it was only when you abandoned me that I realized that I couldn’t get myself to be carefree and deeply happy, no matter how much I force myself to… I try to get answers from things…I try to get answers from logical and inane things alike. I have tried separating myself from you, in hopes that this wound ain’t too deep that your absence would make it heal…But up to this day I still hug my pillow while imagining a scene where I cry hugging you, and you have already reached out to me… It has been 9 months, and still, the only cure I can think of is hearing your voice as you address me by anyway you like. You don’t even have to say my name.
You can say you’re busy now. I will wait. I have waited far longer than you expected me to.

All my memories of you add weight on my heart as time passes by. Every word, every side wards glance, every time I tried to make you laugh, and every time I tried to not let you know that you were special…these segments of my life, segments of my memory that I cherish when I decided to look at you, and save that moving picture of you, while you were trying to figure me out. Memories I could replay today..as long as I need it. In a bittersweet sense I am still thankful that I looked at you, if only to frame you neatly in my memory. For safekeeping.