Can someone kill me, please?

October 10th, 2011by DontWantThis

ok, I just dont know what the hell to do.. Ok I’ve never told my story on here but I think I’m gonna do it now.. so one year and seven months ago my grandmother died. She was seriously EVERYTHING to me. She was the only person I could tell everything to and she was kinda my best friend. There is no word to discribe who our relationship was.  when she died (of canser when she was 63) I was broken. But I kinda didnt understand it. I lost half of my family.. cause she was the only one who made me keep in touch whit “the other part” of my family.. you see my mom left my dad when I was two and woulndt let me meet him, cause he is “sick in his head” if you know what I mean. but my grandmother let me see my dad and the rest of that family (aunts, cousins and more) (and BTW yeah it was ok for my mom) and I really did love this family.. when my Grandmother died I lost that family.. and her ofc… That really hurt. The last time I saw anyone from that family was in my grandmothers funeral that was a year and seven months ago. My dad has a new wife and two children.. I have met one of those kids (my brother) and I havent even met my sister .. it kinda hurts but Its kinda my fault.. cause my dad text me, butI dont write him back. I just think it’s too much to handle, even though I miss him so much. Ive tryed to kill myself four times, and I do selfharm. Today my bestfriend (seriously I love her of my hole heart) told my she tryed to kill herself. THAT HURTS TOO. I know she is going through a hard time but when I heard she tryed to kill herself, i just felt my heart broke. And one month and ten days ago my ex boyfriend did break up with me.. and that still hurts. I just dont know what to do..

1. my heart is broken my my ex

2. my bestfriend tryed to kill herself

3. My grandma died ( my everything)

4. my dad isnt there for me

5. people that say they can help, cant

6. I am in a risk to be put in on a psychiatrick hospital

7. my mom is not going too work because of me

8. Im starting to lose friends at school

9. Im adicted to FS and my fav FSer just got suspended..

10. my crush is my ex

11. I cant stop self-harm

12. people make it worst

13. Ive been depresed for a year and about seven months

14. Ive never been real happy in a LOOOOOOOOONG time

15. when I was a child I did not have real friends (I got real friends when I just turnd 14 and now Im 15)

16. school is going to hell I cant consentrate

 

I just cant find the good things in life..

 

BTW; I write loads word wrong but Im just too tired to clean it up.

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