Goodbye.
that’s all I can think of.
no suicide note, no guilt. Just, goodbye. I was a good kid, honestly. Now I’m only 13. Still so young and have nothing to look forward to me. Honestly what’s there good when you live in a piece of shit that your “family” can barely afford? You try to tell your family you don’t like it there but they seem to never care. Yeah, that’s always it. No one cares. No one sees how much they can hurt a person, but that doesn’t matter to them. They just don’t care. All my life I’ve done nothing but care so deeply for my family and friends, but for what? For them to betray me, lose faith in me, forget I’m there? I can’t deal with it. Sooner or later, I’m ending life. I’m ending it so I won’t have to “find out” what life will be like when I’m older. Like my mother always saiid, “you’ll do nothing but follow in my foot-steps and become nothing, do nothing.” So if that’s true, why wait and see what happens? Why not just leave the earth now and live happily somewhere else? Hell is even better than here, I can assure you. Right now I’m sitting in my room thinking of a way to end it. Drowning myself in music trying to find a better place then killing myself. Depressions on my mind all day, everyday and the thoughts of suicide are getting stronger. I don’t want help, no I don’t need help. This is my decision and there’s no one, nothing that will help me. All they can do is tell me life will get better. When? When I’m found dead in the forrest one day? Looks like it’s heading that way. Life seems like a game and I’m the one falling way behind. I lost this round, and there’s no coming back. But I don’t mind, maybe things will be better with me gone. Maybe my family will have more money to support my sister and how great of a person she is. Or maybe my friends won’t have to worry about feeling bad for me anymore. I hate it. Don’t you see why it’s time to end it all? I know I need to. Goodbye.
2 comments
If this is what you decide then may you find what you need on the other side. I wish there was a way we could have met in the physical world. Be well.
“Life seems like a game..”
Most of the general population don’t learn this fact of life, ever. Those that do, it takes them awhile.
Step 1
realize that you’re awesome and better. You’re awesome and better because you can see and understand far beyond any people around you.
Your life will continue to be shit for the next little while. Until you have full control over what you do and how you live, life will be shitty. I have a theory that this is something that most SP users have in common. We’re all here because we feel powerless in our own lives; take solace in the fact that you’re not the only depressed 13 year old looking at the razor blades lovingly.
I say don’t kill yourself because you’re 13. You haven’t lived yet; you’re still in a cage. You’ll be free one day, I promise. You will have control. Just be patient. I know how hard it is for someone that’s different to be patient in these types of situations. I promise though, after high school, everything changes.
Wait until you’re let out of your cage before making a decision like killing yourself.