Me and my friend were chatting one day, and he told me he couldn’t find anything for his research paper about greenhouse effect.
I suggested to him a couple of things.
“Shut up”, he answered back.
I knew he was in a joking tone. I laughed a little.
But what happened next remained a mystery to me.
I suddenly said “Fuck you.” and slapped him right in the face.
The teachers around the library had to separate us.
I didn’t even feel the words slip out of my mouth. My hand slapping his cheek. It wasn’t me.
I told him it wasn’t me. He accepted my apology but still didn’t belive in my reason. Hell, even I myself couldn’t think of a way on how to justify my actions.
I told the guidance counselor it wasn’t me.
I told all my friends it wasn’t me.
Why won’t they all believe me?
4 comments
Cause a lot of people of fucking stupid and what hear the truth thats why they wont beileve you
They don’t believe you because most people are terrified of how complex people really are. Either way you shouldn’t be worrying about what they believe, you should be figuring out where it came from.
Shit like that happens. I don’t know if this is what happened to you, but sometimes I get mad angry and kick the shit out of things or people and don’t even remember who threw the first punch. Sometimes I’ll forget I was ever even in a fight, or that I destroyed the exit sign out in the hall, or the phone by my boys room, or that I punched the window int he hall way, or threw my boys shit out the window. I barely remember any of those things but everyone tells me it was me. And I do somewhat remember waking up with bruises and shit on my face every now and then. Most nights I’m too drunk to remember though, so it’s all good.
I don’t know if that’s what happened to you, but I had a counselor tell me to squeeze my hand and blow on my fingers when I wanted to punch something. Problem is most of the time I don’t realize I’m getting to that point.
Sorry to play devils advocate, but… it WAS you. Or, at least, a part of you. This doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person, just that there’s parts of yourself that you haven’t explored, and you need to, because it can be very dangerous denying any aspect of yourself.
Everyone has bad sides to their personality that they try to keep hidden. There is a part of me that wants to hurt and destroy EVERYTHING. It’s scary, but I don’t ignore it because Its better to recognise your shortcomings rather than suppressing them, otherwise they just build and get worse. Have you thought about talking to a shrink about this?