Miscellaneous rants and ramblings

This world is horrible. There is a reason that when people die, the poeple who try to comfort others say “They’re in a better place.” A BETTER place!!! That just proves that death is far better than life, well at least for me it would be. Some people just piss me off so much, I dont know whether to kill them or myself. This world. What the hell is this place?! Some sort of torture chamber that we must stay in for years until we die.

Happiness is just a memory. It exists no longer in my life. I see other people who somehow obtained this special power that makes them happy always. Mabye its because thaey actually have people to care about them. Or perhaps it could be that they enjoy their lives and will make sure that they must always enjoy it.

Looking up at the night sky, hoping that something good will come my way, that something good will happen to me. But knowing that nothing will. At this point I’ll stand in the middle of the road and look up at the night sky hoping that that one good thing to come my way will be a car hitting me at full speed. Cracking my ribs, shattering bones, bleeding out until the neighbors who heard the sounds might call an amublance. EMTs arriving just a minute too late. Wishing it will end up on the news or something so that everybody who I knew would be informed of my death so they can celebrate it. Wanting them to know somehow of my pain, my suicidal life that I lived, how much I wanted to die, everything.

My father has recently bought me a disposable razor for shaving. It came with about 6 backup razors. I could take one of them out and use it to end this meaningless existence. Since its mine, he wouldn’t even know if one of rhe razors went missing.

This world is just the opposite of good. The most horrible people have the most friends. The most innocent actual good, kind poeple, have zero friends and are picked on by the horrible people until there is nothing left on the inside. They are just skin and bone, walking around. Alive, but not living.

What is this life? Really? Birth, going year after year of life, growing, learning, evolving. Until what? Hear comes that guy. The one with the black cloak, large scythe, a skeleton body, cold lifless, merciless eyes. Here comes Death. Most happy people fear him. They would run away at the very sight of him, trying to save theyre happy little life because thay dont want to die. Me? I would just stand there and watch him end me. Mabye talk to him. Hey Death, how have you been? While he just stands there, motionless, confused. Perhaps ask him if he knows any good restaurants, if he even eats. Hang out with him on the weekends possibly, play some video games, watch tv. Ask him when he will kill the people I hate. And then I’ll ask him when he will kill me. If he says in a few years or anything else but now, I will ask him if he can kill me now. Hopefully we will have built up a “friendship” and he can do me a favor and kill me. I hope he will happily oblige.

I am currently 225 feet above sea level. But I would much rather be 6 feet under.

-End