Why? Why me?

I’m sick of life. I’m sick of getting crap from people who don’t even know me. I’m sick of being an outcast. I’m sick of being judged everywhere I go. I’m sick of walking into my school and having people look me up and down. I’m sick of having no one to talk to. No one to hug me. No one to go to when I’m upset. No one to care. No one to love me. No one to want me. Not even my family cares…Do I even have a family? My mother is never home. My father left. My brother is always fighting with me and hitting me. And that stupid jerk. Does it make you cool to hurt others now? Why can’t guys just be straigh-up with you? Why do they have to lead you on just so they can go off with your “best friend”? Why do they have to lie and make you feel speacial then cheat? Why does everyone love to hurt me? Why do people take so much joy out of RIPPING MY HEART OUT OF MY CHEST?! Why can’t I be a skinny pretty girl with straight hair and green eyes? Why did I have to watch the most important person in my life die? Why do I have to go in my room and cry my heart out and then plaster this STUPID FAKE ANNOYING SMILE ON MY FACE? Why do people think that because I seem okay, it’s alright to hurt me time and time again? Why do I keep forgiving the one who’s hurting me most? Why can’t I have one friend to sleep over with and giggle as we talked about clothes and the cute guys at school? Why won’t one guy give me a second look? Oh that’s right, because I’m ugly. I’m fat. I’m annoying. I’m worth nothing. No matter how much I starve myself I don’t lose weight. Why do I have to make myself bleed? Why can’t I stop making that red line re-appear? Why can’t I just die? Why was i even born? Why did my parents have me if they don’t even want me? If no one wants me? Why can’t I look like all those other pretty girls? Why can’t I finally feel happy like them? Why do I have to be so depressed? Why me? Why? WHY?!