Sweet Escape

just one more day i tell myself, then ill do it. i…….. no one cares about me, no one. i have no friends…i cut myself all the time, i have about 20 deep cuts on my legs right now. ive told ppl and they dont care, they just yell at me. i used to drink alot but i dont so much anymore but  i think im gonna start again now, i ………its an escape, i dont remember how bad things were the morning after, i feel happy and warm and fuzzy and i love it, the taste is good, it helps, stupid psychiatrist told me it was bad, well i cut a lot less when i drank and i felt better too, prolly cuz i was just to drunk to know how bad i felt, but  now i miss that escape,  it was all i had well besides sleep, and you can only sleep so much, i just wish for that sweet escape again, something to take away the pain, to get a brake from my horrible life, to forget all my problems and to ………die thats i want is to die, it will solve everything and no one will miss me. ill be happy in hell or where ever you go when you die. all i need is that escape, that sweet sweet escape.