All that I write is the truth.
I wanted to know if anyone has ever felt the way I am feeling right now. When suicide is discussed (generally speaking) it is talked about with intense sadness (ussually on the part of the person thinking about it). For me, when I think (have not talked to anyone) about suicide (something I have been doing alot, lately) I have feelings of peace.  I take comfort in the knowledge that the idea of suicide has become, for me, a release of the obligation I have to get up out of bed each day and live my life. My life is not bad, not good, but old. I believe this feeling that I am experiencing is the reason death exists.
7 comments
This is how I am starting to feel(see recent post if interested). It sounds like you are in the same place that i am. I’m saddened to a point that I won’t be able to experience certain things,but its been pounded into my head that i wont experience them alive anyway. It gives me a sense of calm that i can avoid feeling that pain every day,that I dont have to do this anymore. I wish suicide weren’t so stigmatized. We euthanize animals in shelters so they don’t have to endure an empty,meaningless life. Why can’t we offer each other as human beings the same compassion?
indeed.
Your life only looks old if you spend all your time thinking about the past.
You become what you think about the most. If you think about what’s unchangeable, you will repeat the same patterns. If you think about death, you will kill yourself. You sound like a spinning toy winding down.
You have the ability to restart yourself. It may be atrophied, you may be feeling the pull of gravity and entropy, but it’s there.
What you’re doing to yourself is not compassion.
Peaceful thoughts of suicide happens when we have some degree of acceptance that we will stay in control of our fate.
I know with illness’s many find a peace knowing the care taker leaves the Morphine next to tthe bed where it can be reached when we want the end.
I find thinking about suicide give’s me a scene of peace.
matchen I think you should talk to some one tell them how your feeling. Talk to friend or doctor.
Makes perfect sense. Death is an escape route for you, your pain and obligation. But you dump all that pain and obligation on people you leave behind. So… do you feel any obligation to them?
I find peace in thinking about suicide. I have read all the suicide prevention stuff on the internet and the only thing that stuck with me is that if you do commit suicide, you won’t be able to actually feel the relief of being free from the pain, free from the hurt that you feel. It’s not stopping me from thinking about it though but I do think about “Man, that would be nice to actually feel it”