I have been suicidal for a very long time, and the thought of me dying and leaving all this pain behind is constantly on my mind. But when ever im with a friend or family member I think about how that person will be affected by my death. Im going through this hard time but never ever ever would I want to cast my pain onto someone else. It’s easy to say no one cares or that I won’t be missed but I’m only fooling myself. Everytime I meet someone new I know that person will be affected in some way by my death. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think or want everyone to care its just the way life works.
I so badly want to end it all…and i have plans to do it soon, but I hate this feeling of walking around with lonliness anger fear and guilt. I guess thats what lifes all about…pain and more pain.
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3 comments
You are going to die anyway.
It’s all about balance, weigh the pro’s and cons.
There are no pro’s left for me, It is not possible for me to be happy, safe or even comfortable.
Therefore, I have no guilt.
I am sick anyway, they have been trying to kill me for 7 years, I just don’t want a future with these people, never did and never will.
My advice to anyone that has been around me in the past 7 years is: kill yourself that I might pity you.
I feel the same. I met a friend from school after a year. And she’s so cheerful and such a wonderful person. I would hate to think how my suicide would affect her, and my other friends.
do you know a song bittersweet by apocalyptica?
Just curius…